Tales of an Evenfall

Remember when we stayed up late and we talked all night...

2008-09-08T09:37:00.000-07:00

People are beautiful to me...
Their dreams...
Their hopes...
But more importantly...
Their souls.
Friends are important to me.
I've always dreamed of having a close circle of friends.
God has given me those friends.
My friends are beautiful...
At times I feel like I become disconnected from some of them, though.
This makes me wonder...
Am I doing enough to stay connected with them?
Am I missing signals or subtle hints that they want to move on?
Does this really just mean that it's time to move on?
How do friends move on?
Is this supposed to happen?
My friends are beautiful to me...
I've tried to pick friends who push me in the right directions.
I've been pushed in wrong directions before...
And I followed them...
Those people are still beautiful but they aren't my friends anymore...
They aren't beautiful for the same reasons my actual friends are...
What happens when I try harder to stay connected with some friends and it seems as though they don't want to try harder to stay in my life?
I'll try and it'll reach a certain point, but then the day is gone and I didn't get to actually talk to them about life...
Their dreams...
My dreams...
Their hopes...
And my hopes...
And our spiritual journeys...
Is that really staying connected?
Should I keep trying?
How do I tell them that they're slipping away?
How do I tell them how much they mean to me?
How much I need those little pushes in my life...
Those simple moments when life passed us both by and we knew how to laugh about it...
The beauty of life...
The understanding of the beauty of life...
Those nights when they knew what I needed to hear...
And told me straight out because they cared about me...
Friends shouldn't apologize for telling you the truth.
Is there really such a thing as a true friend?
I know there are.
I know better than to get off there.
Sometimes God sends friends into your life for a very specific reason...
And then He takes them out of your life, also, for a very specific reason...
We don't always know the reasons in life...
We don't have to...
But sometimes God explains it to us a little farther down the road, when we're ready to listen...
The most important thing is to recognize that God never does anything without a reason behind it.
When someone leaves your life...
Thank God He allowed you to share in the life-journey of another beautiful person...
And then look for the little pushes they gave you in your life...
Treasure them...
Remember them...
And when you think about those nights you talked about how life passed you by and could laugh about it and tell each other the truth...
You'll discover...
That somehow...
They'll always be your friend.
And that's something beautiful.
Don't worry about staying connected...
Because if you're doing what you can...
God will work out the rest...
And losing touch doesn't mean losing the touch they left on your life.
That's what really matters.
Just remember that you're touching someone's life right now.
Maybe they need a little push right about now...
Listen to God and keep trying...

...Because people are beautiful.

God bless, y'all.
~Curtis~

I'm not who I was, but still not who I should be...

2008-08-20T15:12:00.000-07:00

Who am I?
I'm not who you might think.
I've tried to fit in with your notion of perfection, but I know I still don't measure up.
I don't measure up to my own notion of perfection.
Nobody measures up, but I don't make that my excuse.
I'm just another sick person sitting across from my cure... convincing myself that I don't need it while I'm wasting away...
Is it still alright for me to tell others about the cure?
Yes, but I need to work more on allowing myself to me cured.
Sometimes I rush in where angels fear to tread.
Living means taking risks.
But does that mean that I live at all costs?
That depends on what I'm living for.
I know I don't always live for the right things.
Sometimes I try and sometimes I don't.
But God has used my mistakes to make something beautiful.
I need to learn to live for God more.
The more I live for God, the easier the smaller things will be.
If I am faithful in smaller things, God will give me bigger things.
Doing what's right often means doing what's hard.
And being faithful is hard, lol.
I need to protect my brothers and sisters.
I need to stop wasting myself away.
I need to do so much more in order to get to where I need to be...

God bless,
~Curtis~

It's been a while...

2008-08-17T19:16:00.000-07:00

Life has been rolling blissfully along... And sadly, blogging has not shared a part of that bliss. Sorry! I used to be more into this; I don't know what happened. :-/ I've just always been more of a "well, don't you have a facebook?"-kinda guy. Oh, or a "can't I just give you a phone call?"-typa guy, too. Uhggg... I know that was an incomplete sentence for those of you who survived English V. with me...

Let's cover some preliminary updates, shall we?

My moped is out of commission for a while. The front hydraulic disc brakes went out. I should have figured something was wrong when I kept having to drop my feet and leave a little shoe rubber on the pavement before I could stop. I guess I'm just dense like that. I did change the oil by myself though. Still patting myself on the back for that one...

The hours at my job have been cut, but they told me they liked me, so I'm at peace with it now. Unsurprisingly, my social life has reached heights it's never known before... *give me a call, I'd love to do coffee sometime*... *cough* I still love my job and I'm past the point where I can blame my mistakes on the people who trained me (huge disappointment there). But we're all like family back there in the warehouse.

I've been sensing some unbalance in my spiritual life. (Backing up a bit, here) I usually stumble upon (not the magical program) a phrase that summarizes my desires or thoughts for the week. This week, it was, "holding loosely to the things of this world." What does it mean to hold loosely to stuff? What are some areas in my life in which this is not happening? What objects, people or events am I holding onto too tightly?

And again, I have to give the gold medal to entertainment. Entertainment. This beast that swallows my "free time" (which usually ends up meaning "time set aside for entertainment" {Uh, yea. Wrap your heads around that one, lol}), feeds my desires and tickles my emotions. Emotions. Funny little sensor thingys that I tickle with entertainment. Get the general flow of this? I feel like I keep jumping onto roller-coaster rides of emotion, fueled by the illustrious engines of entertainment. I decided that the best (or one of the best) way to demonstrate the action of "holding loosely to the things of this world" is to fast regularly from entertainment. And to give stuff away. Yea. Give stuff away. If I love something too dearly that I *feel* like I can't live without it, then it's probably time to go over my list of "things I live for" for the millionth time. :-P So that's been on my brain this week, and probably will be for a while.

Today was incredible. It actually all started yesterday. I'll explain. See, my mom walked downstairs to my room to find me there (imagine that). She said, "Guess what's happening at Church tomorrow?" I screwed up the side of my face in a contemplative imitation and blurted out the first thing that came to my head, "They're having a live, free concert instead of the worship service!" "You got that right." I stooped down to collect my jaw from my bedroom floor. Casting Pearls was doing the worship part of church! It was an incredible time of worship. At first, I was looking forward to hearing Agnus Deo again, but at far as that went, I was disappointed. But Vota (their new name, to avoid the ever looming confusion with Casting Crowns, since everybody's losing sleep over that) didn't fail to bring a refreshing sense of worship and humility! A song that literally brought tears to my eyes was God With Us, by Mercyme. It made me think so much about "holding loosely to the things of this world" and holding onto God. Here's the lyrics:

Who are we--- that You would be mindful of us?
What do You see--- that's worth looking our way?
We are free--- in ways that we never should be.
Sweet release--- from the grip of these chains.

Like hinges straining from the weight,
My heart no longer can keep from singing.

All that is within me cries
For You alone be glorified:
Emmanuel, God with us.

My heart sings a brand new song.
The debt is paid, these chains are gone.
Emmanuel, God with us.

Lord, You know--- our hearts don't deserve Your glory;
Still You show--- a love we cannot afford.

Like hinges straining from the weight,
My heart no longer can keep from singing.

All that is within me cries
For You alone be glorified:
Emmanuel, God with us.

My heart sings a brand new song.
The debt is paid, these chains are gone.
Emmanuel, God with us.

Such a tiny offering
Compared to Calvary;
Nevertheless,
We lay it at Your feet.

Such a tiny offering
Compared to Calvary;
Nevertheless,
We lay this at Your feet.

All that is within me cries
For You alone be glorified:
Emmanuel, God with us.

My heart sings a brand new song.
My debt is paid, these chains are gone.
Emmanuel, God with us.

...........................................

God bless, y'all!
~Curtis~

Sigh

2008-07-12T12:11:00.001-07:00

"How are you? Are you ok?..."
God gave me something beautiful, your trust.
We were only trying to help you.
But then my pride got in the way and I thought that I could take my time. "For every word we never spoke,/ We have a tear to cry/ For every silence like a wall between a better you and I..." I built that wall by waiting. And when I realized what I had done through my pride, it was too late. I tore into that wall, but by the time I got through it, I found the wall that you had built on the other side. I knew that your trust was gone. I could feel it every time you were crying or needed a hug and I couldn't be there. Even though it hurt, I knew that you were being comforted and held.
Now that I see things the way they are, I have to rebuild that trust. It's not because you need the help anymore or not, it's because I wouldn't be able to handle standing alone in a room with you, staring helplessly at your wall even though my pride is gone. You trusted me once and the fact that I let you down and came back is all the more reason why it needs to be repaired. Pride builds walls, I know that now. But God has leveled the ground at the cross through His love. And God's perfect love has cast down the wall of separation that our pride originally built between us and God.
But when you asked me how I was, all these thoughts became sort of stopped up and clogged together, and all I could say was,
"Yea, I'm fine..."

~Curtis~

Will You Carry Me Down The Aisle That Final Day

2008-07-09T19:51:00.000-07:00

I've been listening to a band that has managed to impress and surprise me. They're called Demon Hunter and I recently purchased their newest album: Storm the Gates of Hell. One song in particular has stood out. Here are the lyrics:

Carry Me Down

And if you see me losing ground
Don't be afraid to lie
I know the pain inside my heart
Can't break the fear inside of yours
And if you see me losing faith in what it means to die
Don't let me leave before I know what lies beyond the stained-glass doors

Save sorrow for the souls in doubt
Bleed every care out

Will you carry me down the aisle that final day,
with your tears and cold hands shaking from the weight?
When you lower me down beneath that sky of grey,
let the rain fall down and wash away your pain.

For every word we never spoke,
We have a tear to cry
For every silence like a wall between a better you and I.
So if you see me losing sight of all the death in life
Find the peace in every time I failed to see the death in mine

Let all the fear inside you drown
Tear out the blade and lay it down
Save sorrow for the souls in doubt
Bleed every care out

Oh, the blood is rushing out
Oh, I'm better off without
Oh, the walls are closing in
Oh, sing for me again

The song talks about the hope of the resurrection. It's a theme that has nearly vanished from the Christian's perspective and mind, it seems. Paul explains the consequences of a life without resurrection in 1 Corinthians 15.13-14, 17-19:

"But if there is no resurrection of the dead, then not even Christ has been raised. And if Christ has not been raised, then our preaching is in vain and your faith is in vain. ...your faith is futile and you are still in your sins. Then those also who have fallen asleep in Christ have perished. If in Christ we have hope in this life only, we are of all people most to be pitied."

Paul wraps up chapter 15 with the triumphal verses 51-54:

"Behold! I tell you a mystery. We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed, in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised imperishable, and we shall be changed. For this perishable body must put on the imperishable, and this mortal body must put on immortality. When the perishable puts on the imperishable, and the mortal puts on immortality, then shall come to pass the saying that is written: 'Death is swallowed up in victory.'"

Thank God that there is a resurrection of the soul! Live in the hope of the resurrection and life will take on whole new perspectives and brilliance.

God bless,
~Curtis~

Short-ish Update

2008-06-12T14:54:00.001-07:00

Hey y'all! Sorry I've been so behind in my blogging. I have several really good reasons, though! I promise! Here's some of the new stuff that's been goin' on around here:

1. I got a job.

I am now a proud part-time employee at Hobby Lobby! http://www.hobbylobby.com/ It's wonderful and I love the people I work with. :-) I've already discovered that two of my co-workers are Latter-Day Saints (they prefer not to be called "Mormons" because of certain extremists who claimed to be Mormon and gave the rest of them a bad name) and one other co-worker is a Catholic! So pray for me as I enter the new field of witnessing in the work area!

2. I got a moped.

A friend who was going into the army was selling his, so I bought it from him! The moped is a beaut. I've named it "Fyodor" in honor of Fyodor Dostoevsky, the great Russian novelist. *grins*

3. I've been stuffing down the math.

I have to finish a math subject (always also a painful subject) before July hits. Otherwise, I won't get a grade back for it in time for the receiving of my driver's license and, accordingly, a good student discount on my car insurance. So yea. That's definitely some good incentive goin' on there.

4. I've been hanging out with people.

Several of my friends from high school have graduated (and did I mention that I graduated too??) and planning to move far, far away for college this fall! So I have been running around merrily and frantically, connecting with someone here, stopping by to catch up with someone there and generally milking time for all it's worth.

5. I graduated.

*beams*

6. I lost a little motivation to blog.

It's true. *sighs* I can't blame my busy-ness for everything. I lost a lot of the will to carry on blogging the last few weeks. Sometimes I felt like I wasn't getting much feedback, or that, at the worst, my blog was only read by two or three people. While both of these scenarios are probably the case, I've decided not to give up on it. After a chat with a really good friend about something else, I came to the conclusion that God can still use my ramblings to encourage people, even if I can't see any results. And even though my blogging is only read by one person and it touches them somehow, that would be enough for me.

God bless, y'all!

And don't forget to check out my recent post on Generation MOVE! http://generation-move.blogspot.com/

~Curtis~

Generation MOVE: The Object and Purpose of Our Faith

2008-05-19T20:14:00.000-07:00

*New post alert*

;-)

http://generation-move.blogspot.com/

~Curtis~

PS: Be sure to leave me comments on it and tell me what you think!

Generation MOVE: Intro & Static Beliefs

2008-05-01T15:21:00.000-07:00

Intro: Generation Move is a counter against static beliefs and rising indifference towards faith in today's young Christian culture.

Verse:

"So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead."

~James 2.17

Topic: Static beliefs

Everyone has beliefs. However, most people believe what they want so that they can continue to live a certain way. Very few people continue to live a certain way because of what they believe. Beliefs are necessary when convenient, but unnecessary when inconvenient.

Faith requires movement on a belief. I could believe that a chair can support my weight, but if I don't sit down in it, I'm not exercising faith. Faith is the willingness to act and live a certain way because of what one believes. If a chair I sit on regularly always holds me up, then that chair is worthy of my faith, or faithful. But if I don't sit down on it, then I'm insinuating that the chair is unworthy of my faith. Whatever belief I have about the chair isn't worth anything because I'm unwilling to risk sitting down in it. Beliefs aren't proven by anything else unless you move.

God is worthy of our faith. He has proved Himself faithful generation after generation. So why don't we move a lot more on His faithfulness? We hold static beliefs that allow us to keep living our protected lives day after day. Our faith is small and so our movements are limited. Sure, God still uses us, but just imagine the wonderful things we could be doing for God instead of the small, mediocre ones we attempt now! The patriarchs of the Old Testament were known for their faith, and look what they accomplished:

"By faith Noah, being warned by God concerning events as yet unseen, in reverent fear constructed an ark for the saving of his household. By this he condemned the world and became an heir of the righteousness that comes by faith."

(Hebrews 11.7)

"By faith Abraham, when he was tested, offered up Isaac, and he who had received the promises was in the act of offering up his only son, of whom it was said, 'Through Isaac shall your offspring be named.'"

(Hebrews 11.17-18)

"By faith Moses, when he was grown up, refused to be called the son of Pharaoh's daughter, choosing rather to be mistreated with the people of God than to enjoy the fleeting pleasures of sin. He considered the reproach of Christ greater wealth than the treasures of Egypt, for he was looking to the reward."

(Hebrews 11.24-26)

"By faith the people crossed the Red Sea as on dry land, but the Egyptians, when they attempted to do the same, were drowned."

(Hebrews 11.29)

Lets be the generation that moves. Wouldn't it be awesome if people looked back at our lives and remembered us for our faith? Be active in your community. Find a place where you are outside your comfort zone and risk something for Heaven. People are dying while we're living static beliefs that have absolutely impact on our lives and on those around us. Move!

Song Spotlight: Dare You To Move by Switchfoot

Lyrics:

Welcome to the planet
Welcome to existence
Everyone's here
Everyone's here
Everybody's watching you now
Everybody waits for you now
What happens next
What happens next

[Chorus]
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened before

Welcome to the fallout
Welcome to resistance
The tension is here
Tension is here
Between who you are and who you could be
Between how it is and how it should be

[Chorus]

Maybe redemption has stories to tell
Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell
Where can you run to escape from yourself?
Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna go?
Salvation is here

I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened
Today never happened
Today never happened before

God bless,
~Curtis~

Notices: A permanent blogspot has been created for Gen. MOVE posts. URL: http://generation-MOVE.blogspot.com

We want to hear from YOU. Email me at upwardmomentum89@hotmail.com if you're interested in having your Move story published in an issue. How has your faith moved lately? I'm hoping to do some interviews in the future, so stay posted about that. If you have any requests or personal questions that are not directly related to an issue, please email it to me.

Escape Artists

2008-04-24T08:52:00.001-07:00

blend into the crowd
but there's pain in the masses
you cannot escape
from compassionate glances
more reminders that you failed
to control the pain yourself

get away get away
and watch me fall apart
get away get away
and watch me fall apart
get away get away
and watch me fall apart
get away (get away) get away (get away)

you're an escape artist
running from your hurt
you've tried your hardest
to hide what just won't work
but God will not turn back
from pursuing you
but your pride will never ask
Him to fix what you can't do

pull into the dark
there is comfort in your mind
but all the numbness
has been killing you inside
more reminders that you failed
to control the pain yourself

get away get away
and watch me fall apart
get away get away
and watch me fall apart
get away get away
and watch me fall apart
get away (get away) get away (get away)

you're an escape artist
running from your hurt
you've tried your hardest
to hide what just won't work
but God will not turn back
from pursuing you
but your pride will never ask
Him to fix what you can't do

just let it go...
(from the outside to inside
it breaks in or it caves in)
you can't escape...
(it will follow you there
wherever you run or hide)
just let it go...
(from the outside to inside
it breaks in or it caves in)
you can't escape...
(it will follow you there
wherever you run or hide)

you're an escape artist
running from your hurt
you've tried your hardest
to hide what just won't work
but God will not turn back
from pursuing you
but your pride will never ask
Him to fix what you can't do

stop being an escape artist

~Curtis~

Unexpected concert and assorted thoughts.

2008-04-21T11:58:00.000-07:00

Friday night was an incredible time of renewal for me. Normally on Friday nights I go to a Chinese Bible study in which my dad teaches a Bible class in English. But just before I went, I heard from a friend that one of my favorite local bands, Casting Pearls, would be playing at the Church building upstairs during the same time. So I pulled one of my friends from the study along with me and went to it. Turns out, it was an event for a new phenomena, Pulse, which has been sweeping college campuses recently. They had an opener for the show play some worship songs and then a guest speaker came and talked about his vision for evangelism and Christians at the University of Nebraska in Lincoln.

He started his presentation by telling everyone to put their hand over their heart. Next, he told us how he always stops and just feels his pulse when he gets discouraged about life. It reminds him that God still has plans and purposes for him. And then he talked about how Christians have a lack of spirituality not because they didn't have information about what they needed to do, but because they didn't have affection on Who has called them to love and to service. I knew that was true, but it was refreshing to hear it again. Truth was being re-affirmed for me, I guess you could say. And I was very encouraged by that.

An example he used, was about love. When you love someone else, you'd do everything to preserve the relationship no matter what that meant. If it means buying flowers, you'd buy those flowers (presuming you're the guy, or it could be vice-versa too, I suppose, lol) and it wouldn't be a duty or an obligation because you love them. It brings you joy to be a part of the smile that spreads across their face. That's how it should be with our relationship with God.

It was an amazing evening and time of worship! I really pray that the friend I took with me felt a fire for God, as they were a new believer. Overall, I was reminded how God can and does pull everything together for His children. I had no idea that this concert would be playing at the exact same time I would be at the Church anyway with my dad. God is so incredible!

On a side note, one thing I thought about, was why when we pray do we have to verbally invite Jesus into our presence? Jesus is present everywhere we are because the Holy Spirit lives inside of us. God said that wherever two are gathered in His name, He will be there too, so it isn't as though every time we throw a party God has to be added to the guest list and sent an invitation. I think it's more an issue of preparing our hearts for worship and obedience rather than telling God He should be in the mood to hang out. He's with us whether we're worshiping or not.

God bless,
~Curtis~

Creeds

2008-04-11T08:18:00.000-07:00

What's your take on creeds? Will you make one (if you do) and how will you stick to it?

U.S. Soldier's Creed:
http://www.army.mil/soldierscreed/fla...

Ba rong ba chi (Chinese Eight Honors and Eight Shames):
http://news3.xinhuanet.com/english/20...

Medieval Knights Code of Chivalry:
http://www.middle-ages.org.uk/knights...

A little bit of humor

2008-04-09T14:52:00.001-07:00

So I promised some of y'all that I'd post something funny. Well here it is. :-) I broke it up into paragraphs so that it'd be easier to read.

I was taking a walk the other day and I couldn’t help but notice this lady, walking her dogs. I don’t think that people realize how smart dogs have to be. The lady had to keep pulling the leash up and she kept saying, “No, no, no,” over and over again. It’s like, are you sure about that command? You sound a little uncertain. Your voice keeps going up at the end like you may be trying to ask a question, but your vocabulary is too limited.

I’ll bet if the dogs could talk, they’d say, “What? Ohh, haha. I bet you actually thought that I had forgotten what I wasn’t supposed to do, ahahaha!” After I passed them, I felt like just stopping and watching them as they progressed down the sidewalk. Excuse me; do you mind if I stand and stare in wonderment at the training you invested in those animals? I wonder what kind of growing up those dogs had. Did you play Puppy Einstein to them when they were having their tummy time in the kennel? Maybe I could just take some notes while this dog show is in the neighborhood?

It actually reminded me of a little kid holding a couple balloons while walking into a stiff wind. The lady looked like she certainly couldn't suffer any from a good walk every day. The rest of her sort of rippled as she moved. It was like watching a cube of ballistic gel hit the floor after you've dropped it.

I must say, the whole experience was fascinating and definitely made my day.

God bless!
~Curtis~

Thoughts and a Challenge

2008-04-01T19:03:00.000-07:00

The world stands in judgment of us Christians. Like it or not, Christianity is on trial before a jury containing every unsaved person. Every Christian has a responsibility to accurately represent who Christ is within their respective spheres of influence. Paul reminds us of this responsibility in Hebrews 12.1, 2:

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.

If you don’t believe that people are watching you, just listen to this. I have a friend who I’ve witnessed to ever since I met her a year ago. She told me that she looks at all the Christians she knows to see if their life actually reflects Christ. Their obedience to the Bible witnesses to her more than any words they’ve spoken to her. Their words are either verified or disproved by their life. I’ve almost found out the most about how to practically live as a Christian from her than any other Christian because of her scrutiny and outward perspective. Here’s just a few things that I learned from her.

First, treat the source, not the symptoms. The world accuses us of being judgmental for a reason. This judgmental-ism is not from God, but from our selfish piety. We’re not here to preach a social Gospel, which makes people moral without changing their hearts. Christians today are sending more clean, moral and self-righteous sinners on their way to hell than broken, repentant and humble sinners saved by Grace to heaven. Jesus came to die for our justification first and secondly, our sanctification, which comes only through the work of the Holy Spirit. The unsaved will have darkness in their lives, just as we used to. It’s the natural fruit of their condition.

Second, be honest. I’ve noticed that Christians have a tendency to assume a piety just to accentuate and ‘dress-up’ the Christian life. Sanctification isn’t completed in our life-time and we need to admit that there are still struggles in our lives. If we can, we should use our unsaved background as a tool for evangelism, always pointing out the source of our sin instead of dancing on symptoms. God brought us through a specific road to salvation that He had ordained before time. Proverbs 20.24 reminds us that ‘a man’s steps are from the LORD; how then can man understand his way?’ Sanctification is a process and it is only possible after the justification of the Cross and victory of Christ’s resurrection.

Thirdly, live it and then talk. Hypocrisy is one of the biggest charges against believers. This is especially vital if we’re responsible for representing Christ to someone who’s been prejudiced because of irresponsible and judgmental Christians. All God needs is the pure and undefined Gospel to convict an unsaved sinner. One strong Christian testimony may be the pivotal factor in salvation. This is also a time when it’s essential to be honest and open about your past and current struggles. Unsaved people need to see real people, not ’suit and tie’ Christians. It should also be a given that we can recognize their true need for salvation without judging their sins. Remember, they are only living out what they know. They can only be washed completely clean through justification before their lives can start being cleansed through sanctification.

Whether it’s only in casual settings, or serious, intense conversations, people are watching to see how you live. We shouldn’t become reclusive because of these ‘great clouds of witnesses,’ or treat our faith as something to keep personal because we are called to share the Gospel with others. We’ve been told to expect the scrutiny. We’ve also been told to expect the persecution. By nature, the darkness hates the light because it’s works are evil. In John 15.18, Jesus says, “If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you.” And in 1 Peter 3.14-17, it also says:

But even if you should suffer for righteousness’ sake, you will be blessed. Have no fear of them, nor be troubled, but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect, having a good conscience, so that, when you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ may be put to shame. For it is better to suffer for doing good, if that should be God’s will, than for doing evil.

I hope that this blog has been a challenge to you. It is my prayer that God will awaken every Christian to live out the Gospel before the world and to preach the Word as it has been taught us through the Bible. Remember, they still seek the living among the dead, even 2000-some years after the wondering disciples stumbled into the empty tomb.

God bless,
~Curtis~

Callings of the Believer: Fellowship

2008-03-27T12:17:00.000-07:00

It's so easy to lose focus on what fellowship really is and implies. Accordingly, fellowship has been redefined many times. The definition of the word means a companionship, association or even membership. In the Scriptures, it is very closely connected with the word communion. Broken down, the etymology of communion means a union with others, a coming together as one.

One of our first calls as believers, is to have fellowship with Christ. Jesus commands His disciples to "abide in me, and I in you," (John 15.4), for the purpose of bearing fruit. Abiding can indicate a substitutionary action. Because of the Cross, our sins abided in Christ's sacrifice. After our salvation, Christ's Spirit now abides in us.

But this is a little more than justification. Other passages more specifically state to abide in Christ's words. We see how this is tied in to personal discipleship with God in John 8.31: "So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed in him, "If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples."

We have to actively walk with God to have fellowship with Him. In 1 John 1.5, 6, John writes, "This is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all. If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth." It is impossible to fellowship or commune with God while we still practice sin and wickedness.

And then we discover a commonality with other believers. 1 John 1.7 says, "But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin." Our fellowship with other Christians is based on our fellowship with God.

Fellowship, or unity with our brothers and sisters in Christ, is meant as an encouragement. True fellowship is not only based around the Cross, but also points to the 'Day' when the work of Christ is brought to a completion at the Second Coming. Paul says in Hebrews 10.24, 25 to "let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near." We need to be stirring one another up to love and good works when we're fellowshipping.

Seek fellowship with God first and then fellowship with other Christians will be more encouraging, rewarding and fruitful!

God bless,
~Curtis~

Callings of the Believer: Discipleship

2008-03-12T11:29:00.000-07:00

Callings of the Believer: Discipleship

By definition, a disciple is a follower or student of someone and their teachings. But it goes much deeper than simply a scholastic approach. In Jesus' day, a disciple not only studied the doctrines and lessons of his teacher, but he also strove to imitate the teacher's life and adhere to the applications discovered. The disciples would often travel with their teacher and stay constantly by his side, attentively soaking up all his words and following his example by doing exactly as he did. Ideally, the best teacher, of course, was one who perfectly lived out what he taught.

As Christians, we are discipled to Christ. If we believe and love Christ, then we are commanded to adhere to His teachings. Jesus instructed his disciples that:

Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever believes in me will also do the works that I do; and greater works than these will he do, because I am going to the Father. Whatever you ask in my name, this I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it. If you love me, you will keep my commandments. (John 14.12-15)

In verse 11, Jesus tells his disciples that 'I am in the Father and the Father is in me.' If we believe, obey and imitate, then God will work through us just as He worked through Jesus. Only then can we be true disciples of Christ and be fully used as God's instruments to do His will. When Jesus left, He gave us His Spirit as a 'helper' (John 14.26) to instruct us:

These things God has revealed to us through the Spirit. For the Spirit searches everything, even the depths of God. For who knows a person's thoughts except the spirit of that person, which is in him? So also no one comprehends the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. Now we have received not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, that we might understand the things freely given us by God. (1 Corinthians 2.10-12)

Here we see that God has given us all that we need to understand and learn about the commandments of Jesus. Even beyond this, God has distributed the gifts of the Spirit by His will (Hebrews 2.4). Jesus also teaches that 'whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit.' We are called to exercise our gifts in obedience to Christ's commandment. When we do this, we will 'abide' in Him.

We need to be listening to the Word of God every day, hanging on every single word and soaking it up. King David writes (Psalms 119.10) about seeking God 'with my whole heart' to the purpose that he might not 'wander from your commandments.' And in Psalms 119.11, he says, "I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you."

John writes a serious warning to believers in 1 John 1 and 2 about walking in darkness while claiming to have fellowship with God. John talks about a sign by which we can know if we are abiding in Christ (1 John 2.5, 6), "But whoever keeps his word, in him truly the love of God is perfected. By this we may know that we are in him: whoever says he abides in him ought to walk in the same way in which he walked." We need to follow Jesus' footprints as closely as possible.

In these ways can we fulfill the call of Christ to be His disciples. Our salvation may not be on the line, but the testimony to God's love for us is. Jesus says in Matthew 3.8 to, "Bear fruit in keeping with repentance." The command is clear. How are you being a disciple of Jesus?

God bless,
~Curtis~

I fell when I tried to carry on without You...

2008-03-05T11:43:00.000-08:00

I'm just a little tired...

Tired of being angry,...

....getting upset over small things...

...and saying things that I know I'll regret because I said them in anger and haste...

Tired of shoving my foot in my mouth because I didn't think before I hit 'send.'...

*Blah*

~Curtis~

Luck, Coincidence, Providence and Heart Attacks.

2008-03-02T14:12:00.000-08:00

I found myself thinking about the concept of 'luck' a few days ago. The main ideas behind it indicate either some mysterious force that controls good and bad, ie., 'fate', or a throw of the dice, ie., pure chance and the combination of circumstances. These ideas don't really take into consideration the concept of God, though.

If something happens that we worked on turns out all right, that's more of a coincidence than luck. The word 'coincide' comes from the prefix 'co' and the root word 'incide'. 'Co' means "together" and 'incide' means "to fall upon". When added, the word means "to fall together," "to correspond," or "to agree". Because I believe in a sovereign God, I know that God is always working for the good of the saints. When a situation comes out all right, it's our plans falling together with God's.

Now, when our plans don't seem to meet up with their happy endings, it's usually because we aren't seeking to coincide with God's desires, but our own. Even though we don't always seek to please God, He always works everything out the way He intended to. This is providence. It isn't necessarily what we had in mind when we started out of the door, but it's what God had in mind even before we woke up.

Everything that God does in our lives will be for our ultimate benefit in some way. The more we adhere to the plans God lays out in His Word and trust Him, the more we see that 'luck' disappears entirely and what we called coincidences before now becomes completely providential. So I recommend that when you think of something as a coincidence, stop and consider that if your plans coincided with God's all along, then it was His faithfulness and sovereignty that brought the results.

In case some of y'all aren't as familiar with my habits, I have a tendency to make up little phrases and sayings that help me remember concepts. My latest buzz word is 'heart attack'. Now the concept behind a 'heart attack' is simple, but simply profound. *grins* When God really speaks to me through His Word, or someone else's words and the Holy Spirit convicts me of the issue, I call it a 'heart attack'.

Jesus speaks about heart issues in Matthew 15.18, 19: "But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person. For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander." If something is wrong on the outside, it's because it goes back to their heart. Jesus refers to this later in a confrontation with the Pharisees in Matthew 12.33: "Either make the tree good and its fruit good, or make the tree bad and its fruit bad, for the tree is known by its fruit." If God's Spirit is talking to you about something that isn't matching up with true repentance and faith, He's essentially attacking your heart with the truth. John the Baptist gave this commandment: "Bear fruit in keeping with repentance." (Matthew 3.8)

Paul speaks about returning to the things of the world after tasting the Heavenly gift in Galatians 4.9: "But now that you have come to know God, or rather to be known by God, how can you turn back again to the weak and worthless elementary principles of the world, whose slaves you want to be once more?" Remember, we used to have heart disease, but God saved us from death through the cure of His Son's atonement. If you're not having heart attacks, then you need to check your vital signs and make sure that you're in God's Word every day, in communication with your Great Physician and in fellowship with healthier believers.

God bless, y'all!

Grace and peace be with you,
~Curtis~

Do you even care who they are?

2008-02-23T17:30:00.000-08:00

As I type this, I think about one of the things I care about in life. What is that? People. Why do I care about them? God cares about people. For years, I've seen them degraded, disregarded, dehumanized and destroyed. Stereotypes disregard and destroy people. The self-esteem movement taught us how to degrade them. The industry of immorality leads the way into dehumanizing them. And finally, Christians have been excessively judgmental and reclusive from their existing needs. I will start by explaining how people are important.

God created man in His own image. (Genesis 1.26) We have an eternal soul that is a part of us. We must respect mankind because of his soul. Genesis 9.6 says, "Whoever sheds the blood of man, by man shall his blood be shed, for God made man in his own image." Although God knows the number of a man's days, He will still hold the one accountable who disregarded that image by murdering. James talks about the evil of the tongue in the third chapter of his book.

"With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so." (3.9, 10)

If we profess to be of God, then we must not profane those who bear His image. This is hypocrisy and does not come from the Spirit of God, but from our sinful nature and desires. (James 3.15) A person is important because of his soul.

A person is important because of the life that God gave them. Life is a gift. The Old Testament reminds us that "the life of the flesh is in the blood" (Leviticus 7.11). The nation Israel was given specific directions not to eat flesh "with its life, that is, its blood" still in it. (Genesis 9.4) As we saw from Genesis 9.6, God will hold man accountable to the innocent blood he sheds.

"A man's steps are from the LORD; how then can man understand his way?" (Proverbs 20.24) God directs the paths of man. We must remember that God has given everyone a unique background and story that brought them to where they are. The prophet Jeremiah speaks out of this knowledge when he says, "I know, O LORD, that the way of man is not in himself, that it is not in man who walks to direct his steps." (10.23) To disregard this history, is to disregard the work of God through an individual's life.

God made us in His image, that is, with eternal souls. He gave us one of the most precious gifts, life. He also gave us the memories and history that is wondrously unique to every person. And for thousands of years, man has scarred, destroyed and forgotten what God has made.

Stereotypes allow us to categorize people into groups with predetermined feelings, actions, backgrounds and even appearance. We have disregarded soul of that individual we judged as belonging to a stereotype. We have become the judges of who is important to us because of what circles we desire to be a part of. A person is no longer unique because we destroyed in our minds what God has created because of our pleasures.

Self-esteem lifts us up above everyone else. The world told us that we deserve the best and we believed it. In our efforts to make ourselves feel as good as we could about ourselves, we degrade everyone around us. The road to gratification is easy and quick. It does not have places nearby it by which to take rest and thought, neither does it encourage thoughtfulness. The urge to feel good does not care about the feelings of others in its facilitation. Cutting people down is the quickest way to make us appear higher than we really are. It destroys anyone without restraint and disregards everything about them, including their soul, life and history.

Immorality dehumanizes people. Man and a woman become tools of pleasure who live only to gratify it. This is one of the most popular industries in the world next to self-esteem. Men dress to appeal and women dress to appease. Humans are no longer seen in the image of God, but in the image of man. A young girl, raised without a knowledge of the existence her soul very easily becomes a machine of lust. The soul is lost in the enticement of living for the moment and what pleasures that moment offers. Life becomes a right, instead of a gift, just like how every other pleasure becomes a right. Executives of clothing companies, movie industries and record labels all collect their money at the end of the day just like the prostitutes on the street do. Immorality sells, but what is sacrificed in return is gone forever, scars forever and ignores what God has created as unique, eternal and important.

Christians are guilty just as much as the world is. When we disregard who a person is, we do so in God's face. We, as Christians, have judged people by what they wear and what they do even more than the world does. Jesus never refused to heal someone because of who they were or what the world thought of them. He ate with the immoral and sinful people of the world and went to the places where they were to be found. In spite of His example, the Church remains huddled in their Christian bubble, trying to keep ourselves separate from the world in every respect. If we are to fulfill the Great Commission, we need to be willing to do whatever it takes to place a Christian with the Gospel inside the circle of any group of unbelievers.

I become righteously indignant when anyone tells me that I should disregard who a person is and where they come from. Many well-meaning people have slid to that extreme. And this, I believe, dishonors God because of what God has done in that person's life. They act as though God has not been working in that individual's life at all. Christians do more damage to the Gospel when they enter the life of an unbeliever without care for that person's needs and history. I believe that in order to reach someone efficiently with the Gospel, I need to be respectful of their background and be prepared to expend myself on any emotional and physical needs they have as a result of that. Jesus fed thousands of people at once. He "saw" and "had compassion" on the sick and the maimed and He healed them. He set the example for us to follow to attend to those who are needy as a means of preaching the Kingdom of God through. It becomes, then, cruel and unusual for a Christian to ignore these basic needs even for the most righteous of motives and intentions.

I feel very strongly about all of this. I pray that this has touched you, the reader, in a way that will find its application through your life. I do not propose myself as an example to you, but I do propose the life of Christ and His Apostles as servants of God as your examples. I encourage everyone to study the works of Christ and how He offered Himself for our sins. Put your faith into action and find a way to witness to that friend you've known for years who always found a listening ear and a compassionate heart in you. It is just as cruel and unusual to keep the good news of our salvation from the suffering world as it is to ignore their basic needs.

Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ,
~Curtis~

What do you think when you look into their eyes?

2008-02-14T10:23:00.000-08:00

Can't you hear their cries? They're desperate for the Truth. Many of them have nothing left to lose.

John 4.35 "Do you not say, 'There are yet four months, then comes the harvest'? Look, I tell you, lift up your eyes, and see that the fields are white for harvest."

They sing about it in their songs; they play it out in their movies. Redemption is as close as a word (Romans 10.17).

Acts 17.23 "For as I passed along and observed the objects of your worship, I found also an altar with this inscription, 'To the unknown god.' What therefore you worship as unknown, this I proclaim to you."

Answer the call to the harvest. The Gospel will fall like rain on a land that is dry and parched. Proclaim what was formerly unknown, but sought after.

Grace and peace be with you,
~Curtis~

The Problem of Evil and Suffering.

2008-02-13T15:16:00.000-08:00

Why do bad things happen to good people? How can an Omnibenevolent God create or allow evil? Why is there suffering in this world that a loving God created? This has been a problem that men have wrestled with for thousands of years. Most formalized arguments that I skimmed though ended with the similar conclusion that either God is a flawed, finite being, or that God doesn't exist at all. Christians, specifically, have often been assailed with this issue for nearly as long as men have rebelled against God. While I do not presume to offer the solution to this issue, hopefully I can open up some Scriptures that will shed a little more light on the subject. To begin, I will use some common responses to the problem of evil and show how they are un-Biblical.

One response defines "evil" as an absence of good. Augustine of Hippo (fifth century) asserted that evil was simply a 'privatio boni'-a privation of good. Evil is only the negative form of a good thing and is therefore opposed to it as sort of a contrast (ie, darkness is the absence of light and is also its contrast). This response is commonly called the Contrast Theodicy. If a being is not completely good, then evil will naturally fill in the space like a vacuum. However, this response denies that good and evil are moral judgments. Also, Mankind is inherently evil, so there's never been any capability for good in them to begin with.

"As it is written: 'None is righteous, no, not one; no one understands; no one seeks for God. All have turned aside; together they have become worthless; no one does good, not even one. Their throat is an open grave; they use their tongues to deceive. The venom of asps is under their lips. Their mouth is full of curses and bitterness. Their feet are swift to shed blood; in their paths are ruin and misery, and the way of peace they have not known. There is no fear of God before their eyes.'" (Romans 3.10-18)

Romans 3.23; "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God."The Bible teaches that we not only "fall short" and that "no one seeks for God," but that we have also inherited guilt from Adam. Psalms 51.5; "Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin did my mother conceive me." We were born as sinful beings even before we committed our first offense against God, so that all are in complete rebellion against God even from before birth. Evil in mankind then isn't the "absence of good," but the result of Adam's Fall in combination with our conscious moral judgments (we consciously "turned aside"-Romans 3.12). Romans 5.12 says, "Therefore, just as sin came into the world through one man, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men because all sinned." We inherited guilt and we also trespassed God's laws ourselves.

Another response defines "evil" as a necessary opposite. This concept is known as "Yin and Yang" and is related to the Contrast Theodicy and to dualism. According to Wikipedia, "Yin and Yang (known as "Taiji") is used in Eastern thought to illustrate complementary opposing forces (positive/negative, light/darkness, male/female, heat/cold, good/evil) as an unchangeable and necessary law of nature." (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Problem_of_evil) Evil can only be defined in terms of its opposite good. But in this dualism there's a little bit of good in the evil and a little bit of the evil in the good. They must always exist because of their opposite and balancing natures toward each other.

Assuming that God is the "good" part, there must be a being who is completely opposite but completely equal in power, knowledge and eternality to God. Isaiah 45.5 says, "I am the LORD, and there is no other, besides me there is no God" If "there is no other," then God must have a different side to Himself that balances the "good." But Deuteronomy 32.4 says, "The Rock, his work is perfect, for all his ways are justice. A God of faithfulness and without iniquity, just and upright is he." And 2 Samuel 22.31 also says, "This God--his way is perfect; the word of the LORD proves true; he is a shield for all those who take refuge in him." There is no evil power that is equal but opposite to God, nor is there a different side to God that is contrary to His nature (see the Law of Non-Contradiction).

"How you are fallen from heaven, O Day Star, son of Dawn! How you are cut down to the ground, you who laid the nations low! You said in your heart, 'I will ascend to heaven; above the stars of God I will set my throne on high; I will sit on the mount of assembly in the far reaches of the north; I will ascend above the heights of the clouds; I will make myself like the Most High.' But you are brought down to Sheol, to the far reaches of the pit." (Isaiah 14.12-15)

This is what the Bible says about the beginning of evil. Satan (Lucifer, or the "Day Star") was the first created being that sinned. The first sin was pride; Satan was lifting up and glorifying himself rather than God. Somehow, Satan had been created with a mind that was capable of conceptualizing malcontent of his own position in relation to God's. I don't know how, philosophically, an omnibenevolent God could have specifically created that mind; but He did and the Scriptures specifically record the Fall of Satan. Next, we will examine how evil entered the world.

When God created the world He made several laws that hold the universe in place. On the second day, God created the atmospheric pressures, the vapor canopy, the layers of the atmosphere and established laws that would keep them in order so that they were complete and "good" (Genesis 1.10). On the third day, He created vegetation, the processes of germination, photosynthesis and reproduction "according to its kind." These cycles operated on specific laws that God created to govern them and allow them to subsist. On the forth day, He created the "lights in the expanse of the heavens" (Genesis 1.14) so that they would mark "signs," "seasons" and "days and years." This is the order of the planetary system and system of stars. Psalms 147.4 says that, "He determines the number of the stars; he gives to all of them their names."

I could go on through the description of creation, but I can draw my point from the days already mentioned. Everything was created in a specific order and under certain laws that would sustain and contain them in that order so that all things were "good" (Genesis 1.4, 10, 12, 18, 21, 25, 31). God is pleased in the law and order of the universe. Because laws cause order, when those laws are violated or removed, there must be a specific effect on those things which were previously held in order (IE, disorder).

"And the LORD God commanded the man, saying, 'You may surely eat of every tree of the garden, but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die.'" (Genesis 2.16, 17)

Next we see a commandment (or law) set in place for mankind. This law keeps the trusting, perfect relationship between God and man in place. The result of violating this law is stated as, "you shall surely die." This was not an immediate physical death (although physical death would be included, it would not be the immediate result directly following), but an immediate separation of the perfect relationship between God and man, a spiritual death. Although mankind had a propositional knowledge of this commandment and the result of its violation, they were still innocent of the experiential knowledge.

"Now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the LORD God had made. He said to the woman, 'Did God actually say, 'You shall not eat of any tree in the garden'?' And the woman said to the serpent, 'We may eat of the fruit of the trees in the garden, but God said, 'You shall not eat of the fruit of the tree that is in the midst of the garden, neither shall you touch it, lest you die.'' But the serpent said to the woman, 'You will not surely die. For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.'' (Genesis 3.1-5)

Here is the temptation. Satan presents the option of mistrusting God and discontentment to Eve. Sure, the commandment was always there and so was the opportunity, but Eve had not yet known the sweet but always temporary taste of disobedience which Satan described to her.

"So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate." (Genesis 3.6)

Contentment, innocence and obedience were immediately sacrificed for the desire of what was not hers. The law was broken even before she ate, since she mistrusted God already in her heart. Adam also partook of the mistrust and of the act of eating the fruit with Eve. The law that preserved the trusting, perfect relationship was violated and the effect was the forewarned separation by spiritual death. God then cursed the serpent for his deceit, Adam and Eve for their mistrust and the earth as a result of the separation.

Genesis 3.15 however, records the first Messianic prophesy: "I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and her offspring; he shall bruise your head, and you shall bruise his heel." Still in the wake of Man's Fall, God promises to send the Redemption of Mankind, His Son, the Son of Man.

Romans 5.12 "Therefore, just as sin came into the world through one man, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men because all sinned." Sin came from Adam. And all are under the same judgment of death "because all sinned." We inherit sin and we also sin ourselves. We inherit guilt from the former and judgment from the latter. Evil is a result of the disobedience of the Fall.

Why is there suffering then? Why do "bad things happen to good people?" There is suffering partly because of the Fall. But also, we are not "good people" to begin with. What all the formalized arguments failed to consider, was the fact that we merited all suffering and sin because we crossed the line that God drew in the sand, as it were, before the Fall. But where we have transgressed, God is able to "remove our transgressions from us" (Psalms 103.12).

So why does God allow suffering to come to His saints on the earth who are justified in His sight? He allows it because He will work it for our good. Romans 8.28 says, "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose." But we cannot see the specific good that God will accomplish in suffering on this earth, just as King Solomon talks about life "under the sun" in the book of Ecclesiastes. Life is like an enormous tapestry, being woven through us down the passages of time. All we can see from our point of view (or, "under the sun") are the knots and tangles on the bottom. What God sees, is the completed work of beauty and meaning from the topside. While sufferings and injustices occur on the earth, we must remain confident that God is still sovereign in the heavens. Ecclesiastes 3.11 says, "He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man's heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end." God has given us a hope and yearning for eternity.

How does an omnibenevolent God allow evil and suffering in the world? I don't know. But I do know that God did not leave the world in its evil and hurting condition. John 3.16, 17 says, "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him." We were condemned already because of the Fall, but God sent a Savior into the world to redeem the lost. God endures the wickedness in the world because they will reap their reward at judgment. How are we who are justified in His sight supposed to respond to the evil and suffering in the world? Hebrews 4.16 "Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need." Hebrews 10.23 "Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful."

2 Thessalonians 2.16, 17; "Now may our Lord Jesus Christ himself, and God our Father, who loved us and gave us eternal comfort and good hope through grace, comfort your hearts and establish them in every good work and word."

God bless,
~Curtis~

Breakthrough!!! Please read!

2008-02-11T12:35:00.001-08:00

I've been praying for this girl I know, "Becky" for months and months now. Her life is an incredibly broken road, but she knows that God has been drawing her to Himself. If I have ever poured the most of myself into an unbeliever, "Becky" is the one I have poured myself into! Every time I chat with her, I felt like I always ran up against a brick wall of "works-righteousness," but God gave me the opportunity to break that down today! I shared several verses with her about being "dead" in our trespasses and sins and about how salvation is through faith apart from works. I used several analogies and common sayings to make it real for her, too. Eventually, she said that she had to go and think about everything because she had never looked at salvation that way before. God is sooo amazing, people!

Please tell everybody you know to pray for "Becky." I have asked God that He would give me this one soul and I need everybody to be in prayer for her. Wouldn't it be amazing if we could get a hundred people to pray for this lost one?

~Curtis~

Immutability

2008-02-08T17:58:00.000-08:00

So I decided to tackle a rough outline of the immutability of God. I just finished reading an article on the issue and I feel as though my brains might explode without warning, lol. I will attempt however, to transfer the scattered vestiges of thought that still remain in my possession to you. *grins* Ie, I'll give it a shot.

Immutability is simply the unchangeability of God. This has been variously interpreted to mean either that God's nature cannot change but that God can, or that God himself cannot change at all. Now, we could discuss what "change" means (philosophy loves to dither over definitions, lol). Is God unchangeable intrinsically and extrinsically, or just intrinsically? Frankly, this is when my head starts to split open and all the entries in my short-term memory are irrevocably erased. So... moving on! :-D

Sure, we could reference James 1.17: "Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change." and call it a wrap, but I believe in doing things the hard way. *grins* Let's examine one aspect of God's nature for a minute or two.

Does God ever lie? Let's skim through some verses. Deuteronomy 32.4 tells us that, "The Rock, his work is perfect, for all his ways are justice. A God of faithfulness and without iniquity, just and upright is he." God is without iniquity. 2 Samuel 22.31 says, "This God--his way is perfect; the word of the LORD proves true; he is a shield for all those who take refuge in him." His word proves true. God has a history of faithfulness. It's not in His nature to lie. Okies, so we see that not only has God never lied, but also it is contrary to His nature to lie.

But why? Couldn't one just say that God hasn't lied because He doesn't want to? Doesn't Luke 1.37 say that "nothing will be impossible with God."? The answer lies (no pun intended) in Hebrews 6.18: "So that by two unchangeable things, in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled for refuge might have strong encouragement to hold fast to the hope set before us." Okies, suppose that I'm not one to accept the Scripture at face value. I need more proof. *grins* Besides that, I just love to ask, "why?"

2 Timothy 2.13, "If we are faithless, he remains faithful-- for he cannot deny himself." So we see that if it is in God's nature to be faithful, then He cannot be unfaithful. This is also known as Aristotle's law of non-contradiction, which is the basis for logic. As Aristotle stated it, "One cannot say of something that it is and that it is not in the same respect and at the same time." 'A' cannot be 'A' and contradict itself at the same time. Either it is 'A' or it is not. God is either faithful and true, or He isn't. He cannot do anything that is contrary to His nature. That is why God cannot lie. It is impossible for iniquity to be in a Perfect Being.

An issue that's worth a mention too, is immutability vs. impassibility. Impassibility is simply the inability to express emotion as a result of external events (or anything, really). If nothing can affect a change in God, does this include emotions? Are emotions really a change in the nature of someone? Or are they simply a response? Can an immutable God experience grief?

Hebrews is an excellent reference for this question! In this book, the Apostle Paul un-packs the humanity of the Son of God. Hebrews 2.18a "For... he himself has suffered when tempted." Isaiah also refers to Christ in the prophetic passage about the "Suffering Servant." Isaiah 53.3 "He was despised and rejected by men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief; and as one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not." If Christ had not suffered, then He would have not been able to "sympathize with our weaknesses." (Hebrews 4.15) But, because Christ knew grief, suffering and temptation, "he is able to help those who are being tempted" (Hebrews 2.18b) and who likewise suffer. So a God who is immutable can also be passable. What an encouragement!

So I would recommend that y'all to check out those verses for yourselves! Ask the skeptical questions! Look it up and don't stop until you are absolutely satisfied! If it's in the Book, then it's for us! 2 Timothy 3.16 (the "other 3.16" *grins*) "All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness."

Grace and peace be with you,
~Curtis~

Through Pain

2008-02-06T11:54:00.000-08:00

*Who knows? Maybe it'll become the chorus to a song...*

I'm broken
and in the stillness of my soul
Your still, small voice
speaks and makes me whole
through pain
I've wandered far away
but You wait for me to listen
to what You need to say

~Curtis~

Just listen to the music... It's my heart telling you what my mouth cannot say...

2008-02-04T08:33:00.000-08:00

"Undo"

by Rush of Fools

I've been here before, now here I am again
Standing at the door, praying You'll let me back in
To label me a prodigal would be
Only scratching the surface of who I've been known to be

[Chorus]
Turn me around pick me up
Undo what I've become
Bring me back to the place
Of forgiveness and grace
I need You, need Your help
I can't do this myself
You're the only one who can undo
What I've become

I focused on the score, but I could never win
Trying to ignore, a life of hiding my sin
To label me a hypocrite would be
Only scratching the surface of who I've been known to be

[Chorus]
Turn me around pick me up
Undo what I've become
Bring me back to the place
Of forgiveness and grace
I need You, need Your help
I can't do this myself
You're the only one who can undo
What I've become

Make every step lead me back to
The sovereign way that You

[Chorus]
Turn me around pick me up
Undo what I've become
Bring me back to the place
Of forgiveness and grace
I need You, need Your help
I can't do this myself
You're the only one who can undo
What I've become

~~~~~~~

"Over My Head"

by Brian Littrell

I tried to figure it out
Time and time again and time again
I guess there's just some things I'll never understand
'Cause Your ways aren't our ways
But deep down in my soul, down in my soul
There is one thing I know that I know

I'm in over my head
Right where I wanna be
I'm so lost within Your love
The love that always covers me
So high, so deep, so wide
A strong and cleansing tide
My soul has found a place to rest
I'm in over my head

I've been holding on
Now I'm letting go, just letting go
Gonna let Your love carry me away
I don't know where I'm going
But I'm surrounded by the truth
And I can feel the current pulling me
Deeper into You

I'm in over my head
Right where I wanna be
I'm so lost within Your love
The love that always covers me
So high, so deep, so wide
A strong and cleansing tide
My soul has found a place to rest
I'm in over my head

You see me for who I am
You did reach out Your hand
You made me understand
That Your love has always covered me

~~~~~~~~~

'Nuff said. :-)

Grace and peace be with you,
~Curtis~

I'm living in the days ahead...

2008-01-28T08:49:00.000-08:00

I had such a busy weekend! On Saturday I went down to Kansas City for my cousin's wedding reception. It was very pretty. I didn't know most of the people at the reception, so for a while I just sat at a table with my mom or mingled a little around. One of my cousins who saw that I was off on my own came over and talked to me a little, which was really considerate of him. After a little while, I asked my uncle if he could get me into a group somewhere and he introduced me to some other guys. I had a really encouraging time with people, then. That was a huge highlight of my evening!

On Sunday God really spoke to my heart in Sunday-school. We're going through 1 John. John is writing about living out what we know in the Bible. He uses several interesting contrasts such as light versus darkness and truth versus deceit. I know that God wanted me to be in this class because of the emphasis on putting the lifestyle behind our faith. The teacher made a comment that stuck with me. He said that we need to be careful that our lifestyle doesn't deny Christ. It really got me thinking about how a Christian should walk.

Our lives are like a collection of exhibits in a court of law. There will be evidence that either supports the fact that we are followers of Christ, or eveidence that denies it. How much conflicting evidence do we build up on a daily basis that we don't even think about? How many exhibits are we displaying to the court of the world and of the angels that we're Christians? If someone were to lay out our actions, words and thoughts, would the world be able to make a clear verdict?

Some questions that are going through my mind, are still about media. Is the music I'm listening to clear enough about Christ that someone could understand the Gospel through it? If someone un-saved sat down and watched all the movies in my library, could I tell them that God makes a difference in my life without saying anything afterward? Another question is, "Could I even present the Gospel to them in good conscience?" Does God even make any noticeable difference in me at all? Sure, I don't wear a tee-shirt that says, "Hi. I'm a Christian." But if all my exhibits were pinned up at the mall, could people see a theme about Christ in my life?

After Sunday-school and church, God brought some very encouraging people to me. One young man was sharing with me about his devotional life, which really lifted my heart up to God! Another young man came up to me and introduced himself. He was in the youth group one night when a friend and I shared about our passion for evangelism. He said that he'd been thinking about our ministry and that God had been speaking to him about it. So I encouraged him to read more of the Bible and to practice what he understands. It was completely a God-thing!

An awesome song that's been ministering to me lately, is What Could Be Better, by 33 Miles. Am I the only one who's noticed a lack of songs written about looking forward to Heaven?

I've heard it said today
Is all we're given
Tomorrow may not come
So you better start living
I guess it all depends
On your point of view

Pardon me if I
Just don't listen
To everything the world
Says I'm missing
There's nothing here and now

I'm gonna hold on to

Chorus:
I'm living in the days ahead
I'm already dancing on the streets of gold
Can't stop celebrating in my soul
I'm living in the days ahead
Nothing on earth could ever compare
Can't wait for the day when I get there
When I see Jesus face to face
Tell me what could be better
Tell me what could be better

If home is where the heart
Is then I'm in Heaven
It's the promise of tomorrow
That I've been given
Who is waiting there I am living for

He's everything I love
And I believe in
And I can hardly wait
Just to see Him
And hear Him say well done
I couldn't ask for more

Chorus:
I'm living in the days ahead
I'm already dancing on the streets of gold
Can't stop celebrating in my soul
I'm living in the days ahead
Nothing on earth could ever compare
Can't wait for the day when I get there
When I see Jesus face to face
Tell me what could be better
Tell me what could be better

Life is full of ups and downs
Inside outs, round and rounds
Can't blame me for dreaming about it

Chorus:
I'm living in the days ahead
I'm already dancing on the streets of gold
Can't stop celebrating in my soul
I'm living in the days ahead
Nothing on earth could ever compare
Can't wait for the day when I get there
When I see Jesus face to face
Tell me what could be better
Tell me what could be better

May the grace and peace of our Lord and Jesus be with you always,

~Curtis~

A Beautiful Surrender

2008-01-18T15:16:00.000-08:00

I used to be a practical gnostic for most of my saved life. And I can safely say that most Christians are. A gnostic is one who believes that the spirit of a man is good and the physical is evil. God is a supreme, distant being who, through a series of emanations, became another being we know as 'Creator God'. He created the universe, but mankind got somewhat muddled up and enslaved in evil. A divine element (also referred to as the 'Divine Spark') fell from Heaven and was lodged in certain people and gave them the ability to realize salvation through the pursuit of gnosis, or knowledge. I didn't hold to those beliefs or call myself a gnostic, but I acted as though the Christian walk was all about knowledge and putting facts into my head. Inside I was shutting out the Holy Spirit and carrying on with the lifestyle I wanted to.

I think the one area that most Christians forget is surrender. Modern evangelism over-emphasizes freedom and when somebody gets saved they think of salvation as only 'fire insurance'. With salvation comes a responsibility to grow in Christ. Growth means surrender since our lives were formerly enslaved to sin. Salvation is like the new portal to living spiritually. Most Christians choose to linger just inside, instead of journeying farther to discover the precious comfort that only a closer relationship with God can offer. Maybe they're afraid to let go of the weights they carried in their former life, or maybe they're too afraid of what their friends from the other side will call to them.

If you are a born-again believer, then God has sent His Seal of Salvation, the Holy Spirit, to you. John 14:16-17 says, "And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Helper, to be with you forever, even the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees him nor knows him. You know him, for he dwells with you and will be in you." As long as God's law is on your heart and mind, the Holy Spirit will be convicting you about areas that need to be surrendered. The more you know about God's law, the more responsibility you have to surrender whatever the Holy Spirit points out to you. So start getting rid of stuff. Trust me, it's a lot easier if you take the initiative instead of having God come along to cut the dead weight off.

Then there's the area of fearing what people may say, think, or even do to you. A friend of mine told me a catchy acronym for this: FOM (fear of man). The Bible talks about having no FOM in Hebrews 13.6; "So we can confidently say, 'The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?'" God made us all unique for a purpose. We all have an individual way to serve Him in this world. People will appreciate you for being who God made you to be, not who you feel pressured to be like the most. There's no individuality in 'going with the flow'. Form principles and know why they're important to you. Be different! Watch out for FOM.

Personally, music is a really huge area of my life that I've surrendered to God lately. I tried to follow the world with the artists I listened to and it was literally dragging me away from God. Whenever I tried to concentrate on talking to God, music would switch on in my head and distract me. So I just made the decision to stop listening to all secular music except for classical. I have always noticed the life and joy that was in Christian lyrics, but never has it been such a blessing to me as when I'd gotten rid of all the other junk I used to listen to. Glorify God with your music! Remember, it's better to have a song in your head that praises God instead of one that curses or dishonors Him.

I've also been putting up some safeguards for the movies I watch as well. I used to really get into horror flicks and stuff like that. Only now that I think back about it, do I realize the complete degradation of life that was portrayed and glorified on the screen. Comedy is no different. Anything, people, ANYTHING can be turned into a joke. I think one of the biggest successes of Satan, is getting us Christians to laugh at sin and to take it lightly. As soon as you let your guard down, anything can make you laugh if you don't think about God's moral standards for Christians. The Bible is quite clear about staying away from evil. Romans 16:19b; "But I want you to be wise as to what is good and innocent as to what is evil."; I Corinthians 14:20; "Brothers, do not be children in your thinking. Be infants in evil, but in your thinking be mature."; I Thessalonians 5:22; "Abstain from every form of evil."

God has been moving my faith to some new frontiers! Every morning, I get my focus on God by talking to Him when I wake up. I ask God to give me a servant's heart and a mind to follow His will during the day. I've also been praying for opportunities to share the Gospel with someone. After lifting His name up and thanking Him for the day He's given me, I pray for my friends and people who need Salvation. Sometimes it takes me a good hour to pray individually for everyone, but it always helps me to put my focus on seeking the needs of other people. During breakfast, I have my devotions so that God's Word will stay fresh on my mind for the day. Recently, I've been leaving the Christian radio station on so that my heart is in a constant state of worship. At night, I talk to God about my day and ask forgiveness for the times I've fallen down (which is usually quite a lot). I also thank Him for the opportunities He gave me to serve my family and/or other people. It is so encouraging to review my day and to see how God answered my prayers from the morning. I always make sure to fall asleep while praying for my friends again and while listening to the Bible on my cd player. God is so good!

So that's the direction my life has been going in lately! I'm slowly learning how to live for God and how to serve other people. I don't even know why I didn't start moving ahead in my faith before. God is faithful, everyone. Don't ever forget that. And He will preserve His people and perfect their faith. It's all about God, y'all. I know that I still need to surrender much more to Him, but at least I'm getting a start on it!

I pray that this will be a challenge to whoever reads this. The feedback I've gotten from you has already been SUCH an encouragement to me! If anybody has anything they need prayer about, please let me know. Just leave me a message or an e-mail and I will be more than honored to bring you before the Lord.

Grace and peace be with you,

~Curtis~

A Personal Confession

2007-12-30T11:12:00.000-08:00

Matthew 6.24a says, “No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other.”

James 4.4 says, “Adulterers and adulteresses! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.”

I had wandered into a dangerous and distant land. There were excuses, of course, lies that I had told myself and my parents even though I knew the truth. Perhaps that is why I wandered as far as I did. But, with God’s help, I am turning around now, and I only thank Him that my parents’ and sister’s attention was called to it before I destroyed any more of my soul.

I listened to music that was not honorable, pure, or glorifying to God by any means. Because of my desire to be embraced by the friendship of the world, I exposed my soul and the souls of others to the world’s filth. It no longer mattered to me if the music I pursued was obtained legally or not. Most of the secular cds I had were stolen from the internet.

Over the space of a few weeks, the videos I watched became progressively violent and morally objectionable. Furthermore, as I continued to watch, the more I was able to stomach and, ultimately, be desensitized by. I failed to realize that my parents’ protection was well-founded and necessary. In short, I was sacrificing my conscience on the altar of my pride.

As of the other day, I have smashed and deleted all the illegal music I own. I have decided to listen only and indefinitely to Christian and classical music. My bit-torrent program is erased and fire walled from my computer. I am also blocking the sites from which I streamed the movies. In accordance with all of this, I am resuming the habit of playing my Bible on audio before bed each night. My parents are also holding me more accountable for the time I spend on my laptop. Currently, I am writing up a letter to send to the record companies that I stole music from to inquire about reimbursement.

And now, I wish to extend an apology and a plea to everyone who knows me and who reads this. Please forgive me for the destructive influence I’ve been to you all. I have betrayed my core values and the trust I had established with my friends and family. I understand the ramifications of my actions and I’m willing to accept any consequences that may follow these confessions. But please also bear me up in prayer for my restoration. If any of you read, hear, or otherwise observe behavior, speech, or lifestyles in me that are not glorifying to God, hold me accountable for it. Inform me about it if I do not seem to notice it myself. If I have done something publicly, then reprove me publicly. I would also invite anyone to call my parents if they see anything un-Godly in me.

~Curtis~

Breaking Outside

2007-12-21T15:35:00.000-08:00

*This is a short poem I just wrote today. It can be a conclusion of sorts to "Again", I suppose.*

I'm breaking outside myself
reaching out to help you
turns out all that was between us
was always me
I'm breaking outside myself
reaching out to help you
I was blind to your hurt by fear
and my insecurity
(so now I'm) breaking outside of me

~Curtis~

'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

2007-12-08T14:06:00.000-08:00

Here I am. Blogging again. I can't seem to crank out a funny blog for the life of me. God has been amazing to me lately and my life has been retaining some resemblance of substance. I guess I'm glad that my blogs have also become a little more serious, but I need to get a side-splitter out there soon.

This blog is written to everybody, the people who read it including the people who don't.

I have this dream again and again. When the dream comes to me, it's as real as it was the time before. Have you ever dreamed something so terrible, you wished you could wake up? Parts of your dream stay in your memory throughout the day and you catch yourself watching for parallels between the world you live in and the world your mind fabricated at night . I've been awake and wished that I was just dreaming. My dreams at night will loop their own versions of my reality in the day-time. Except I know that it isn't entirely a dream. It's a strange paradox. Here's my dream: one of my friends is standing on a cliff. I am at least a mile away. For some reason, I can see them clearly, as if I were standing right next to them, but I know that I am too far away to even touch them or talk to them. They keep moving closer and closer to the edge of the cliff and I start running towards them, screaming. No matter how hard I run, I can not get any closer to them. An awful feeling rises in my gut. They always fall, though, in my dreams and they always look towards me, as if they wish that I could reach out and pull them back from the brink. Time freezes and the image is then pasted in my mind for days and days on end.

This has been my dream. You might know who you are and you might be surprised to know who you are. There are several people who are falling... maybe it's just all in my dreams... maybe it's in reality. I've seen too many fall and I don't want to let another one go. I would die for them if I could bring them back and I would die for the ones who are reaching their cliff. Please, I love you all and I'd do absolutely anything for you. God knows all the nights I've cried myself to sleep for you and the other people I've seen jumping off their cliff.

Sometimes I question myself and I wonder if there's anybody else out there who dreams the same thing I do, anybody who would be willing to risk everything to bring someone back. If you're out there, do something. Talk to the people who need to be saved. Pray for them. Don't let them slip into darkness unnoticed. God's grace pulled us out of sin and adopted us into God's family. Do you know what? God's family is all about saving lives. Jesus taught His disciples how to be fishers of men; why should we think that we are called to any other purpose?

You all are always in my prayers.

~Curtis~

I will most gladly spend and be spent for your souls.

2007-12-04T13:08:00.000-08:00

'Ello world! It's me again, attempting to keep my blog alive with a desperately-needed update. Life has been... beautiful. There's a peace around me that I can't explain. I've been getting back to more regular prayer times. Maybe that's a part of it. If you ever need me to pray for you guys about anything, just let me know. I used to be more available to prayer requests and since I really miss that, I've decided to return to ministering to my friends. Some of y'all are in my prayers constantly and God is continuing to lay people on my heart. So just leave me a comment or an e-mail if you're just having a rough time with something and I'll count it as an honor to lift you up before the Lord.

I know this isn't a random or a funny blog, but hopefully the Spirit will move me a little later.

I love you all! I just wanted to let you know that I'm here for you.

~Curtis~

PS. The title of my blog is from 2 Corinthians 12.15. I've decided to make it my new favorite verse.

I Still Try To Find My Place in the Diary of Jane...

2007-11-22T22:42:00.000-08:00

Life is moving along. The future is still uncertain, but I'm learning how to accept that. Right now my interests lie in cinema and digital video. Depending on job availability, that might change. I've been learning to let go of interests. There is no security anywhere. I think this is God's way of keeping me moving. That's another thing I've learned lately. Following God never means settling down in one place and going static. There are tasks that always needs to be done, places that always need to be visited, people that always need to be met and a purpose that always needs to be discerned. Really, the Christian Walk is aptly named. My life is not so unlike an enormous jig-saw puzzle. God keeps fitting more pieces into place. Parts of me that I thought were lost are being restored. And always, I'm longing for the day when all makes sense and my picture is completed.

The people in my life are changing. I feel like a revolving door. I'll meet an individual or even a family who plays a part in my life and then God will move them somewhere else. Again, instead of resenting this cycle, I've come to accept it. I can appreciate someone for what I've been able to give to them as well as what they've given to me. As long as I can remember, I've been focused on people. Now I'm realizing more and more the ever-widening impact I have on those around me. But it's a little more than that. There's a different kind of freedom. Since more of the pieces of my life and characteristics are coming together, I'm finding that I can change myself to fit the needs of other people more specifically. And to supplement this, people are coming into my life that I feel like I can really mean something to.

I'm still far from where I need to be, though. It's still a challenge to speak the Gospel to others in person. This is usually hard for everybody, I guess. But it'll be on my mind even, when I'm talking to someone and somehow I just don't bring myself around to telling them. I don't even know what I'm afraid of; I know that people respect me for being myself and for getting to the point. So many times, I'll rake myself over the coals because I let an opportunity slip by. My mom is such an encouragement to me, though. Before she even leaves the front house, she will start praying for an opportunity to witness to someone. And she follows through, too. She has literally witnessed to people behind her in line at our neighborhood grocery store. When she can't sleep at night (which is every night, towards the very early morning) she prays for people until she falls back asleep, or it's time to get up. For as long as I can remember, she has read through the entire Bible each year. I think she's read through it well over 15 times, now.

So that's a little bit of my life.

~Curtis~

Social Graces, Revisited

2007-11-11T17:47:00.000-08:00

It is funny to watch the nature of people and observe their presumed social responsibilities. In any given situation, someone will nearly always act in a way that they feel is socially acceptable. It can be hilarious when a situation comes along for which a prepared response in not available, packaged and ready for unloading. These situations can be very awkward and they often end in embarrassment, or harassment, sympathy, self-pity and brief to sustained self-loathing. Context in a conversation is the key, ladies and gentlemen. Always remember that. Prime examples of this tragic phenomenon are the misplacements of the traditional expressions, "thanks, you too," its counterpart, "yea, me too," "same here," or "oh, that's good." Most of these blunders are made abstractly and off-hand, to the great distress of the perpetrator, and occasionally, the hapless target.

"The semester exam is coming up. I wish I were dead!"

"Yea, me too."

Silence mingled with light shock will ensue directly following a comment of that nature. There are typically three responses to these disturbances of the social equilibrium. It is generally acceptable to leave a moment of grace after this careless remark in hopes of redemption and restorative measures; however, that is entirely up to the individual's discretion and emotional needs. The first response for the situation presented is the accusation. A person with high emotional needs would stop perfectly still in their laments and prepare to launch into this entirely new direction.

"Did you just say you wished that I was dead?!? Jerk!"

The offending party is left in the inevitable state of confusion and defense. Blood rushes festively to their face and the room seems to grow a few degrees warmer. The second common response is the derision. The scene is: you are leaving the front steps of a friend's house. He had just expressed his sorrow at not being able to attend a social function you had invited him to. As you make your way from his porch, he calls after you.

"Have a good time at the party tonight!"

"Thanks, You too!"

This may be one of the worst yet, as far as you, the unfortunate chap, goes. All the respective social authorities strictly forbid pouring over a farewell. You are half-way down the front walk by that time. And besides that, you were already bellowing across the lawn loud enough to wake the neighbors' deaf Siamese. The situation looks very grim. You keep walking anyway. You are not a fast thinker; that is why you got into this miserable, blundering business in the first place, blast it all! Behind the front door, your friend sneers derisively at the accidental transgression, despite his better upbringing. It is a bitter and cruel world we live in. The third response is a mutual moment of silence. This offense reveals more about the true character of the person at fault than both the other two solecisms.

"How's it goin'?"

"Horrible. My mum just died, the rest of my family disowned me, I lost my job and I'm a failure at life."

"Oh, that's good."

Awkward. Painfully awkward. And what do you say after something like that? Do you say, "I'm sorry, I am SO used to being indifferent about how you feel anyway, it just comes naturally now."? That will definitely NOT cut it. The only thing left for you to do is to prepare to live a life of social exclusion, harassment and sustained self-loathing. What a terrible way to be remembered by! What would your high school coach say to your biographer when you are gone? "He was a good kid. Really he was. He knew how to put his heart into the game. He was just socially backward." But let not your heart be troubled. All of these injustices CAN BE REMEDIED! My solution? Simply do not make these fatal errors to begin with.

~Curtis~

Again

2007-11-02T07:29:00.001-07:00

Here's a song I just wrote a few minutes ago. Enjoy:

I'll find the words to let you know
but inside there's something I can't show
I get lost in a world that no one sees
and no one knows it's even me
before you walk away
before you walk away

give me just a chance for
showing you anymore
this comes so hard again
(again)
so I'll lie to make it end
(I lie to make it end)
I really want you to see
another side of me
but this comes so hard again
I'm trapped inside my head
(again)

I fight with voices no one hears
and couldn't stand down because of fear
want to break away from this duplicity
but I'm fighting just to breathe
before you walk away
before you walk away

give me just a chance for
showing you anymore
this comes so hard again
(again)
so I'll lie to make it end
(I lie to make it end)
I really want you to see
another side of me
but this comes so hard again
I'm trapped inside my head
(again)

I really want there to be
just you and me
but I keep getting in the way
I keep getting in the way
so please

give me just a chance for
showing you anymore
this comes so hard again
(again)
maybe I'll make it to the end
(this time I'll make it end)
I really want you to see
another side of me
but this comes so hard again
(again)
this comes so hard again
(again)
again

~Curtis~

Water

2007-10-31T20:03:00.000-07:00

I just drank the best water in the world. Lincoln water is the best ever. Not Blair water. Not Topeka water. Not even Minneapolis water. There's just something about water from the city you grew up in that is so magical. It's like seeing an old park you played at as a child, or a neighborhood you grew up in. This water is your childhood. As soon as you drink it, you just automatically recognize it.

I think the most magical thing in the world, is taking a bottle of home water with you on a trip. I don't know about you, but the fun was over as soon as my bottle was empty. It was my connection to home. Maybe it's a security blanket issue, (thank you, Peanuts) or maybe it's nostalgia, or even identification. This was the water I grew up with, played in and was nourished by. (well, not this very water, but water from the same source) I honestly don't know how I could deal with someone who didn't like water. We'd probably become bitter foes and wind up having it out with swords on a tall structure. In slow motion. Always in slow motion. And very dramatically.

You see, water from home never changes. I draw most of my security in life from this. You'll never wake one day to find out that the water-treatment plant had flavored it with strawberry or sassafras or pumpernickel. The world is a better place when you've had a glass of home water. You want to know why some kids grew up to be derelicts and evil people? Their mums didn't give them enough water to drink. Yup. It's not exactly clinically proven, but I'm pretty sure they'd at least be better citizens if they'd drank more water as they were growing up.

Water is just insanely fantastic. What do you think the phrase "the glass is half-full" was talking about? I can tell you what it wasn't talking about. It wasn't talking about a glass of scotch, or milk, or Sunny D. Oh no. It was talking about the all-natural goodness that is water. You also know what? In the end, it really doesn't matter whether the glass is half-full or half-empty. What matters, is who's going to drink the water that's left! And that "who" should be you.

People can have their coffee. That's fine. I like coffee. But there'd be no coffee in the mug if there weren't thousands of little water molecules running their little droplets off through the percolator. Just think about it. Every time you walk outside, you're walking over humongous underground ducts that pipe unfathomable amounts of water to thousands of people, bringing joy and happiness to their other-wise mundane lives! Want to stimulate the economy? Ask your local grocer for water! Water makes people happy. And everybody knows that happy people are productive people and economically-stimulating people! Are you a proud US citizen? Drink water! Are you an under-privileged, third class US citizen? Drink water! Are you a 70s draft-dodger and former president of the US? Drink water! All the world's most successful CEOs drank water!

*turns head to the side and dramatically takes a swig of water*

~Curtis~

Your Show

2007-10-24T21:57:00.000-07:00

I just saw an amazing movie. It is called The Truman Show. (1998) The star of the movie, Truman Burbank (played by Jim Carrey) discovers one day that his life is a reality tv show. Through a series of singular events, Burbank becomes curious about his world. He attempts to escape from the city that his adopted author created. In the end, Burbank faces the option of either staying in the perfect world where he is nurtured and cared for by the author, or leaving and discovering the real world. Possibilities and new expectations remain in the air as the director of the movie (Peter Weir) cuts the film just as Truman Burbank walks out of the controlled universe created for him.

Now I'm definitely not a fan of science fiction. The closest movie I ever got to liking in that genre was The Matrix. Nonetheless, I always love good story lines that take slightly different spins on what we consider to be the ordinary. After watching the movie, I was simply taken back. There is so much that is woven into the plot. The Truman Show pulled several strings in my heart and opened several doors of inquiry in my mind.

There is a quote from the movie that remains with me. When the author of the show is being interviewed he says, "We accept the reality of the world with which we're presented." This is an interesting concept. To a certain degree, we take the world around us at face value. Geographically, we know that life can be completely different on the other side of the world, or on a seperate continent. Spiritually, we have an abiding premonition that there's something more to this life. Ecclesiastes 3.11 tells us that God has placed eternity in our minds, so that we would seek after it, but never understand it entirely.

Another thought that strikes me is how unique people are. Do you ever considered how much of an irony it is for an actor to play the starring role in a biography? The only person who can ever do as much with the circumstances, background and characteristics that you have... is you. No one else can play your life. But we also need to remember that our lives were given to us by God. The world will always tell us that we are who we choose to be; however, this is not true. King Solomon tells us, "The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps." (Proverbs 16.9) Our task is set before us and the wise man will follow after God. No one will be walking off this set without scripting from God.

I will leave you all with a few questions. Does God exist to relate to us? Do we exist to relate to each other, or do we exist to relate to God? While Truman Burbank leaves a world of facades for a real world, he also leaves a relationship with the author for a relationship with other people. Given, the author in The Truman Show was by no means an accurate portrayal of our Heavenly Father.

This is your show and everybody's watching. How are you going to relate to your Author?

~Curtis~

A Whiter Shade of Pale

2007-10-20T20:27:00.000-07:00

Yo. Welcome to another fun, pointless blog. :) I'm going to try to incorporate some different things in my post. This is going to be another "what's on Curtis' mind tonight?" *grins* Welcome to a brave new world.

Maybe I'll pretend to be Norwegian and start all my paragraphs with "so then," lol. Oh, and I'll make dreadfully uninteresting declarative sentences. You know the kind. The ones that people make when they really don't want to be talking to you at all. You both stare at your drinks and glance awkwardly in different directions, as if you'd prefer stepping out in front of a runaway semi just about now.

"So then... you work in accounting?"

It never really is a question. And then, it isn't an observation of life, either. It's more like an acknowledgment, like nodding to a stranger as you pass him on the street. Something has to be said because something has to fill in the silence. Goodness, anything but the dreadful silence.

"Yes."

Wow. As if that solitary statement doesn't do more to kill the conversation than saying something stupid. I mean, even if you slapped the man across the face or dumped your drink over his wife's head, at least that would launch into an inquiry. Of course, it wouldn't be the socially recommended thing to do if you were aiming to begin a meaningful friendship. There are more awkward glances. Simultaneously, you clear your throats as if you're both visualizing the same semi, gunning down the freeway, with you, gleefully standing on the curb, ready to meet your Maker.

"How many years have you been there?"

The other man jerks his head back around to the conversation. He was just thinking about running over to the punch bowl and submerging his head until he expired.

"What?"

A look of disappointment spreads across his features. You repeat your question.

"How many years have you been working in accounting?"

"Oh, about 20 years now."

If you really want to gamble, ask a man about his job. Your results in opening such a field of discussion will be quite varied. If he loves his job, then you have hit the jackpot and a life-long friendship is practically secured. If he hates his job, then you will get a cold reply with a reproachful look at bringing up such a painful subject at a social function. At this point, you will need to use one of those emergency conversation respirators such as the weather or politics if you want to salvage the situation. If he is simply indifferent about his job then you are lost. You might as well say something stupid and leave the room immediately.

"Ah. How do you like your job?"

These are dangerous and uncharted waters now. It will be either sink or swim from here on. The man has been working there for 20 years, so he clearly ought to have a firmly-developed opinion about his place of employment. There will be no indifference about the matter. If he hates his job, then you will be faced with quite a daunting task. The very survival of the relationship now hangs in the balance.

"The pay is horrible. People need to learn how to appreciate a good employee when they have one."

This is the moment when the hero of the narrative looks to the east. Time slows down and for some reason, nothing can touch him as the resolution to the conflict comes riding over the next hill on a white steed. A brilliant, almost blinding light shines from beyond the hill. Your friend has returned from the bathroom. Your salvation has come.

"Well. It looks like we're ready to take off! It was nice meeting you."

Here, we have another irony. Even if both parties have internally agreed that the conversation has been a complete waste of time and brain cells, you still carry out the conventionalities. It's like giving a cigarette to a condemned man. Another prime example of these conventionalities is, "Stop by anytime you're in the neighborhood!" Of course they don't honestly expect you to stop by anytime you're in the neighborhood. In most cases, they're hoping that you don't even make it as far as the neighborhood. Or there's another classic, "I was in the area, so I thought I'd drop in!" They probably drove all the way across town to be a bug on your doormat, a grub in your garden, a proverbial fly in your proverbial greenhouse of life. In reality, they are trying to cover up their social blunder with guises of politeness.

So then. That's all I have for y'all tonight! I'll be blogging again soon! Ttyls!
~Curtis~

Edit

2007-10-18T10:06:00.000-07:00

Ok y'alls. I've decided to pull that post I had up about the radio station. My mom and I agreed that if someone who didn't know me as well read it that they might get some wrong ideas about me, lol.
The world just wasn't ready for that one, in general. I think the humor was a little too dark anyway. Hopefully I'll be getting another post out with some good solid humor in it to make up for that one.

:-)

Tty'alls latah!
~Curtis~

This is Grace

2007-10-16T16:38:00.000-07:00

I'm listening to Dido right now. The front porch is a good place for contemplating life. This last week has been a little hard for me. Ok, it's been very hard for me. I've been gone from home everyday this week. Life never slows down; have you ever noticed that? At first, it seems to crawl, but really, it's just plodding along at its own pace. Then more things happen, schedules fill up and things occasionally go wrong. You're lost in a rush of deadlines and conflicts. But you never stay hopelessly submerged.

This is Grace.

Life is like the small, unstable line on a heartbeat monitor. Each spasmodic jump records another valley and mountain of life. If we didn't have those mountains and valleys, we wouldn't exist. Not that they sustain life, but they are simply a natural part of it. No one's life is completely downhill nor is it completely uphill.

This is Grace.

Time plods on and you start another descent, somehow never dropping as far as you could. Just when you think that you'll never stop, you lightly touch the bottom of your valley. It's almost imperceptible, like landing softly in a stack of hay, or drifting gently until your feet grasp the sandy bottom of a lake, sending a miniature cloud of sand and dirt swirling into the clear depths. And, like a diver, you look up again towards where the refraction of light plays around the surface of the water, soft and luminous.

This is Grace.

You gaze fixedly up. Your breath has left you and darkness begins to wrap around the corners of your vision. A strong updraft begins to rise, inexplicably. Instinctively, you squint; the warm water caresses your face as you shoot up through the murkiness. The light grows more distinct and the darkness drops quickly below you. All you can do is look up. Finally, you break the surface. Thousands of crystal-clear droplets splinter into the air. Oxygen rushes into your lungs and the sensation tingles through your whole being. You're free.

This is Grace.

Thank you, Lord.

~Curtis~

I like BBQing

2007-10-12T21:51:00.000-07:00

It's time for another blog. So here I am, sitting in front of Jeeves, waiting for the Spirit to move me. *sigh* I don't like being pressured to do anything. It's like sitting down and being told to write a 10 chapter piece of historical fiction at gun-point. It just doesn't work. Oh wells. I'm sure I'll move past it.

I've been attacked by praying mantises. A few days ago, one fell off the ceiling of my little porch right next to me. It scared the Sam Hill outta me! And then today, I looked to the right of Jeeve's screen to discover one crawling up my leg. This time it only scared the Emily Dickinson outta me. I calmly flicked him off into the grass and then quietly screamed into my sleeve. Now, I guess I don't mind them that much, but I'd really prefer that they find somewhere else to do their praying.

I bought the biggest, fuzziest slippers the other day. I just walked into Wal-mart and there they were. Well, maybe not quite like that. I was looking at external dvd drives and ingredients for homeade bombs when for some reason, I wandered over to the shoe department. I was just about to head back to electronics when a couple furry creatures caught my eye. They were made to look like the severed heads of two bull dogs. To put them on, you had to stick your feet in their mouths. Strangely enough, this appealed to me. So now I am the proud owner of Alex and Samantha. (Alex is the left foot swallower and Samantha is the right foot swallower) It's great! I still get worried looks from my mom each time I walk through the house.

Wow. I am literally falling asleep as I write this. I've been getting more and more tired at night. This disturbs me. I'm a teenager. What happened to my epic ability to stay up all night and party? I even chugged down a little Mountain Dew goodness before heading to my underground lair. Maybe it's for the best anyway. I have a ton of things that I have to get done before tomorrow... er... today is over. *grins*

And I still haven't convinced my mom to let me wear my pajamas to school yet. I'm disappointed. I don't know how many times I've bugged her about letting me take Alex and Sam to class already. I look fairly respectable in my 'jammies, lol. Me: "It's not like I'd be breaking any dress codes..." Dad: "No, but you would be, soon after." Wearing 'jammies is all the rage in China. The Chinese get away with it all the time. It's pretty fascinating.

Welp, I'm gone like a snowman in July. Until next time, bieeee!
~Curtis~

May I be honest with you?

2007-10-08T20:34:00.000-07:00

I was reading the "Define Me" blurb on my Facebook today. It was interesting to read what words people used to describe me:

addict (thank you, Vieve), adorable (?, lol), beautiful spirit, chill, easy-going, encouraging, fun, genuine, godly, honest, humorous, inspiring, optimistic, passionate, talkative (don't know why they came up with that one), trustworthy and upright.

So I know that most of these were light-hearted. But "genuine?", "godly?", "honest?" and "upright?" It got me thinking. This is how people see me, even though I fall down in these very areas every day of my life. Maybe I'm just being my hardest critic? And then I read 1 Corinthians 4:3, 4; "But with me it is a very small thing that I should be judged by you or by any human court. In fact, I do not even judge myself. I am not aware of anything against myself, but I am not thereby acquitted. It is the Lord who judges me." I wish so much that I could measure up to that. There's days when I've lost more ground than I gained and I intentionally let myself slide. As I was reading that 1 Corinthians passage, I just thought about what that would mean, to live as to have nothing on the proverbial rap sheet.

I don't want to just have a clean conscience, though. Romans 1:8; "First, I thank my God through Jesus Christ for all of you, because your faith is proclaimed in all the world." Can you imagine what it would be like to have a faith that is proclaimed of in all the world?? A person like that could easily change the world! I wish so much that I could be upright, Godly and a man of faith. I guess I just want to tell everybody that I'm not. I struggle with being a witness to people in person. I abuse the Grace of the Cross. I'm not honest with my parents at home. I have ulterior motives for otherwise, self-less looking things I do and say. I get so sick of it!

I used to think it was so curious when one of my friends signed their blog with "Your Fellow Sinner." I think as Christians, we are so willing to identify with the justification we've received and not willing enough to identify with the depths we came from and still return to. If you look at the Patriarchs of the Old Testament, you'll see something more than just great men of faith. You'll see humans, people who tried to do it their way. People who screwed up all the time. But you'll also see people who fell down on their faces before the presence of God and men who cried, "I am not worthy!" or "I am a dead man!" I think we need to return to that place. This is the place where we were when we came to the foot of the Cross and cried, "I am a sinner! I can't do this on my own, so I need YOU to save me!" True faith is taking God at His word and acting upon it. True repentance is not only turning away from sin, but turning to God to completely take over everything. True humility is always remembering the Cross, where we fell, where He picked us up and who He is. It's true, we are saved by Grace. We are justified by the blood of Christ. But we are all also just sinners saved by Grace.

Your Fellow Sinner, Saved By Grace,
~Curtis~

Just Testing

2007-10-06T21:47:00.000-07:00

So I took my SAT yesterday morning. It wasn't the first time I'd taken it, so I was vaguely familiar with the procedure.

"You may now turn your test booklet over and write your name, address, social security number and all existing credit card account information in the blanks provided."

It was comparatively easy to the previous time. I pretty much had the drill down.

"Please place all pencils, calculators and brains on the desk in front of you. Do not put your brains in until you are told to do so. Any extra brain batteries must be approved. If you put your brains in before permitted, your test will automatically be disqualified and you will be shot down by a sniper from the opposite building and your body will be dumped in the nearest convenient landfill."

I was in the zone. I heard a voice droning on somewhere around me about rules and regulations, but I didn't pay attention to that. It was just a bunch of bureaucratic red tape anyway.

"Please be sure that all automatic weaponry is set to "safe" and placed under your desk. Do not attempt to take any test material out of the room. The "swapping" of brains will not be tolerated. Your family will be hunted down and held for ransom on E-bay."

The instructor was fairly nice. He was one of those types who would make a pun if the occasion arose, or even say something funny.

"You will have as many minutes as it takes me to finish knitting this sweater for my new little niece. Turn to page one in your test booklet and good luck with the rest of your life... "

If you don't want an average public high schooler to understand what you write, use cursive. It's like a foreign language to them. The only kids who honed any real cursive skills were the math geeks. You know the ones: long, greasy hair, black Led Zeppelin tee-shirt, bleach-white skin from staying inside all day long playing online role-playing games and bad eyesight from staring at the screen of his scientific calculator and computer screen into the early hours of the morning.

So that was pretty much my day at the test center. It was fun.

:)

~Curtis~

creatively, no subject

2007-10-04T22:00:00.000-07:00

So it's time to break out Jeeves for another blog. I haven't written anything humorous for a while, so here it goes. It will probably be very random, because I don't have a specific subject in mind. Maybe I'll just write down my stream of consciousness.

State of mind: definitely happy. Maybe even a little bit "giddy." :-)
Reason: I just went out for coffee with some awesome people, one of whom I haven't hung out with in a while.
Damper: I got home on time, (for once in a long time, lol) but didn't come in for 10 minutes because I was listening to music in Nate's car outside. So my parents were a little irked at me and Dad threatened to charge me $1 a minute for being late in coming in. So that wasn't very cool. I'm gonna have to start doing something about that. Like maybe becoming super punctual just to win some confidence. *shrugs*
Thought now: I wonder if I'll get sleepy anytime soon. I used to be on a 5 am schedule, but that's pretty much gone out the window, lol. Maybe I should get back to it...

So I went on a comment rampage on Facebook the other day! It was freakin-amazzing! And yes, I just spelled that with two "z"s. I think there should be more words with "z"s in them. Those poor little letters of the alphabet barely get any of the spotlight. The "e"s pretty much get the glory. "How do you crack a code? Just remember that "e" is the most used letter of the alphabet!" Pfft. I say, "Use more "z"s!" and, "Support your local foundation for lost, misplaced and otherwise underprivileged "z"s!"...

I wonder if a granola bar at midnight would taste any different than a granola bar at noon. I mean, what if you did a scientific investigation into the puzzzlement and the granola bar they tested with at midnight had some manufacturers defect in it. And so when some clinic from somewhere in China publishes a scientific journal, everybody goes crazzy. Stores around the world would run out of granola bars before midnight and the people who really needed their post-midnight snack like me would be up-river, without a paddle! *gasp*...

I want to go tubing. The last time I went tubing, waaaas-- way too long ago. :-) I should call up my uncle and ask him what the dealio is and why he hasn't taken me tubing again. It was fun! I was such a cute little tyke back then. I remember riding on the tube behind the motorboat (it was the first time I'd been on a motorboat, too) and I was waving to the people on board. I don't know if they said I was brave afterward just because I was a cute little tyke and somehow they wouldn't have expected such an act of heroism out of me, or because I was simply a cute little tyke. Maybe I'll just go with both. *grins*...

So I realized that I use the word "actually" quite a lot the other day. Isn't it funny how you realizze something habitual that you've not really noticed before? It's like chewing on your nails when you're nervous, or unconsciously holding up at gun point the teller at the bank at you're depositing money at. Man, I do that so much, it's not even funny anymore. It's so embarrassing, too, "Ohh, I'm so sorry, it's just a compulsive disorder I picked up from some leftover Chinese sesame chicken that was fattened artificially by dangerous hormones. You can put the money back into the walk-in safe--oh, and don't forget to let Frank out." Talk about awkward. Most people just don't understand it when you start mugging them in a dark alley that it's just because you've got some psychological issues you need to iron out of your genes. I mean, how can you help it if your great-great-great grandaddy of all grandaddys was a compulsive nut-case? Destiny will make slaves of us all, I say. *sighs*

I should go to bed. My mom might need me to drive her to an 8:30am doctors appointment today. *man, life is hard, isn't it?*

Talk to y'alls later!
~Curtis~

The Meaning Of Life...

2007-09-30T22:45:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking about something lately. Why do humans place such a high importance on their existence? I remember reading the lyrics to a song by Moby. (not an artist I particularly listen to, btw) The song took an interesting look at hotel rooms. We go to a hotel with expectations of cleanliness and order. We act like we're always the first people staying in that room; if we see any remnants of the former occupants, we complain. But why? We live in a world of people. Everyday, our lives overlap those of others. We all share the same existence.

Why do we think this life is so important then? Existence is in a constant struggle to define itself. We fight for our dues in life as though we need some compensation just for breathing the same air that everybody else breathes. The world is telling itself that existence is pointless and we all have to find our own meaning. But what if, somehow, one thing holds more meaning than another? What if what you're doing now holds more meaning that what you were doing 10 minutes ago? How do you find meaning from what you do? Happiness is capricious, expendable and empty. That one thing that brought you happiness 10 minutes ago obviously does not bring you as much happiness now, since you're currently doing something else. Everything depreciates. However, we always excuse ourselves, push back our chairs and get up to look for another distraction. Happiness has an abysmal appetite and is never satisfied. In itself, it is not misleading, but it is if it becomes our criteria for finding meaning in life. Would you expend all your time and resources building a house at the bottom of mountain that was known to have disasterous avalanches?

Are we bound to this fate then? What do we have in this world to find meaning from if everything depreciates and happiness afords no sure contentment? We must look beyond this world. Men have sought after religion for thousands of years to attain purpose. But that is not enough. They are still attempting to create their own meaning through religious duties and empty works of Godliness. They need something that tells them the meaning of life and gives them a solid purpose for existence. At the Fall of Man, in the beginning of the world, we lost fellowship with God. Sin had complete reign in our mortal bodies and we were left with a longing for what was gone. God gave us a way to regain what we lost. But it was solely on His conditions. It had to be. He gave us His Son as the Savior for our sins on the cross. Jesus was the only way that we could find purpose and meaning again. His death restored the missing fellowship between us and God. All we are called to do, is turn away from our own feeble attempts to find meaning from this existence on our own and rest completely in Jesus to fulfill our need. We have to measure things in this world by eternity. Are you making an impact on someone for Christ? Do you think about God's meaning for your life? People live and people die. What are you doing to make a difference that will last?

~Grace and peace be with you~

Letter of Intent

2007-09-27T19:50:00.000-07:00

Once you read this... I'll be gone. Lol, just kidding. No, it's not like that. I'll probably be in the kitchen, snacking out of the refrigerator as I usually am. *grins*

So anyways, for those that don't know me very well, I'm Curtis. I'm very upbeat and happy most of the time. I love making people laugh and encouraging others. There's also a serious side to me. I like thinking about life and digging into issues. I have the pleasure of being related to several people. They are my spiritual family and I haven't even met a lot of them. But you know what? That's ok, because I will meet them all one day in Heaven. This blog is yet another place that I will use to connect with friends and, hopefully, new people.

Give me a shout if you know me. If you don't know me, feel free to leave a comment anyways! I'd love to get to know you!

Grace and peace be with you
~Curtis~