Water

I just drank the best water in the world. Lincoln water is the best ever. Not Blair water. Not Topeka water. Not even Minneapolis water. There's just something about water from the city you grew up in that is so magical. It's like seeing an old park you played at as a child, or a neighborhood you grew up in. This water is your childhood. As soon as you drink it, you just automatically recognize it.

I think the most magical thing in the world, is taking a bottle of home water with you on a trip. I don't know about you, but the fun was over as soon as my bottle was empty. It was my connection to home. Maybe it's a security blanket issue, (thank you, Peanuts) or maybe it's nostalgia, or even identification. This was the water I grew up with, played in and was nourished by. (well, not this very water, but water from the same source) I honestly don't know how I could deal with someone who didn't like water. We'd probably become bitter foes and wind up having it out with swords on a tall structure. In slow motion. Always in slow motion. And very dramatically.

You see, water from home never changes. I draw most of my security in life from this. You'll never wake one day to find out that the water-treatment plant had flavored it with strawberry or sassafras or pumpernickel. The world is a better place when you've had a glass of home water. You want to know why some kids grew up to be derelicts and evil people? Their mums didn't give them enough water to drink. Yup. It's not exactly clinically proven, but I'm pretty sure they'd at least be better citizens if they'd drank more water as they were growing up.

Water is just insanely fantastic. What do you think the phrase "the glass is half-full" was talking about? I can tell you what it wasn't talking about. It wasn't talking about a glass of scotch, or milk, or Sunny D. Oh no. It was talking about the all-natural goodness that is water. You also know what? In the end, it really doesn't matter whether the glass is half-full or half-empty. What matters, is who's going to drink the water that's left! And that "who" should be you.

People can have their coffee. That's fine. I like coffee. But there'd be no coffee in the mug if there weren't thousands of little water molecules running their little droplets off through the percolator. Just think about it. Every time you walk outside, you're walking over humongous underground ducts that pipe unfathomable amounts of water to thousands of people, bringing joy and happiness to their other-wise mundane lives! Want to stimulate the economy? Ask your local grocer for water! Water makes people happy. And everybody knows that happy people are productive people and economically-stimulating people! Are you a proud US citizen? Drink water! Are you an under-privileged, third class US citizen? Drink water! Are you a 70s draft-dodger and former president of the US? Drink water! All the world's most successful CEOs drank water!

*turns head to the side and dramatically takes a swig of water*

~Curtis~