'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

Here I am. Blogging again. I can't seem to crank out a funny blog for the life of me. God has been amazing to me lately and my life has been retaining some resemblance of substance. I guess I'm glad that my blogs have also become a little more serious, but I need to get a side-splitter out there soon.

This blog is written to everybody, the people who read it including the people who don't.

I have this dream again and again. When the dream comes to me, it's as real as it was the time before. Have you ever dreamed something so terrible, you wished you could wake up? Parts of your dream stay in your memory throughout the day and you catch yourself watching for parallels between the world you live in and the world your mind fabricated at night . I've been awake and wished that I was just dreaming. My dreams at night will loop their own versions of my reality in the day-time. Except I know that it isn't entirely a dream. It's a strange paradox. Here's my dream: one of my friends is standing on a cliff. I am at least a mile away. For some reason, I can see them clearly, as if I were standing right next to them, but I know that I am too far away to even touch them or talk to them. They keep moving closer and closer to the edge of the cliff and I start running towards them, screaming. No matter how hard I run, I can not get any closer to them. An awful feeling rises in my gut. They always fall, though, in my dreams and they always look towards me, as if they wish that I could reach out and pull them back from the brink. Time freezes and the image is then pasted in my mind for days and days on end.

This has been my dream. You might know who you are and you might be surprised to know who you are. There are several people who are falling... maybe it's just all in my dreams... maybe it's in reality. I've seen too many fall and I don't want to let another one go. I would die for them if I could bring them back and I would die for the ones who are reaching their cliff. Please, I love you all and I'd do absolutely anything for you. God knows all the nights I've cried myself to sleep for you and the other people I've seen jumping off their cliff.

Sometimes I question myself and I wonder if there's anybody else out there who dreams the same thing I do, anybody who would be willing to risk everything to bring someone back. If you're out there, do something. Talk to the people who need to be saved. Pray for them. Don't let them slip into darkness unnoticed. God's grace pulled us out of sin and adopted us into God's family. Do you know what? God's family is all about saving lives. Jesus taught His disciples how to be fishers of men; why should we think that we are called to any other purpose?

You all are always in my prayers.

~Curtis~