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Father, husband and currently in-between jobs. Just relocated to Michigan from Nebraska and am on the hunt for work! These are my musings about life so far and what I've done.

Saturday, December 8, 2007

'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

Here I am. Blogging again. I can't seem to crank out a funny blog for the life of me. God has been amazing to me lately and my life has been retaining some resemblance of substance. I guess I'm glad that my blogs have also become a little more serious, but I need to get a side-splitter out there soon.

This blog is written to everybody, the people who read it including the people who don't.

I have this dream again and again. When the dream comes to me, it's as real as it was the time before. Have you ever dreamed something so terrible, you wished you could wake up? Parts of your dream stay in your memory throughout the day and you catch yourself watching for parallels between the world you live in and the world your mind fabricated at night . I've been awake and wished that I was just dreaming. My dreams at night will loop their own versions of my reality in the day-time. Except I know that it isn't entirely a dream. It's a strange paradox. Here's my dream: one of my friends is standing on a cliff. I am at least a mile away. For some reason, I can see them clearly, as if I were standing right next to them, but I know that I am too far away to even touch them or talk to them. They keep moving closer and closer to the edge of the cliff and I start running towards them, screaming. No matter how hard I run, I can not get any closer to them. An awful feeling rises in my gut. They always fall, though, in my dreams and they always look towards me, as if they wish that I could reach out and pull them back from the brink. Time freezes and the image is then pasted in my mind for days and days on end.

This has been my dream. You might know who you are and you might be surprised to know who you are. There are several people who are falling... maybe it's just all in my dreams... maybe it's in reality. I've seen too many fall and I don't want to let another one go. I would die for them if I could bring them back and I would die for the ones who are reaching their cliff. Please, I love you all and I'd do absolutely anything for you. God knows all the nights I've cried myself to sleep for you and the other people I've seen jumping off their cliff.

Sometimes I question myself and I wonder if there's anybody else out there who dreams the same thing I do, anybody who would be willing to risk everything to bring someone back. If you're out there, do something. Talk to the people who need to be saved. Pray for them. Don't let them slip into darkness unnoticed. God's grace pulled us out of sin and adopted us into God's family. Do you know what? God's family is all about saving lives. Jesus taught His disciples how to be fishers of men; why should we think that we are called to any other purpose?

You all are always in my prayers.

~Curtis~

10 comments:

Ed said...

Keep up the good stuff. Its fun to be funny every once in a while, but its not always better to be funny always.
I'm glad your walking with the Lord right now, and I hope you continue to put Him first in your life, striving not for your own interests, but the interests of God.
thanks for the post.

Curtis said...

Thanks, Ed! It's always encouraging to hear from you because I know that we are like-minded believers. Stay strong in His Spirit and The Word and don't be afraid to represent Christ wherever you are.

God bless, man!

Jessica said...

Curtis
First off sorry I haven't been on in awhile, Lappy had a break down lol.
Thanks for this wonderful blog. I was actually feeling a little shaky and out of it because of a kind of creepy conversation I was just having, it dug up some long wanted to be forgotten memories. I read your post and it really helped to know that I had a friend who has my back, even though I have never even met you lol.
Have an amazing day friend!!
Jessica

Swan said...

...*sigh* lol!
That was a beautiful bolg dude, thank you so much... =]

Curtis said...

Thanks, Jess! Yea, I was kinda wondering where ya went, lol. Welcome back! Should I be watching for a muchly-needed update? Hehe, anyways, I'll see you around, sis!

Lol, Tori, you know I'll always be worried about you... *smile*

Jessica said...

umm I might post another worry wart but it might be awhile lol. It has been super busy. Next week is finals and than Christmas. Hopefully I can get one up soon. I would hate to disappoint my fans lol.

Swan said...

Why are you still worried Curtis?!!! You've gotta stop, you'll make yourself ill! lol!

Curtis said...

Oh, I've been worryin' for people far longer than this, lol. Just don't worry about it. I'm the type of person who thrives off of caring about other people. And you DO know why I'm still worried. *shifts his eyes and tips his head to the side* Don't make me think you don't... lol.

Swan said...

Ahhh, cummon! Worry about me if I've got cancer, lol, not THAT!
Besides, it's all good! I think it's a very valuable life lesson for me, I'm learning alot from all of this...
So fear not! It will all turn out well in the end! lol! = ]

Swan said...
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