A Personal Confession

Matthew 6.24a says, “No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other.”

James 4.4 says, “Adulterers and adulteresses! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.”

I had wandered into a dangerous and distant land. There were excuses, of course, lies that I had told myself and my parents even though I knew the truth. Perhaps that is why I wandered as far as I did. But, with God’s help, I am turning around now, and I only thank Him that my parents’ and sister’s attention was called to it before I destroyed any more of my soul.

I listened to music that was not honorable, pure, or glorifying to God by any means. Because of my desire to be embraced by the friendship of the world, I exposed my soul and the souls of others to the world’s filth. It no longer mattered to me if the music I pursued was obtained legally or not. Most of the secular cds I had were stolen from the internet.

Over the space of a few weeks, the videos I watched became progressively violent and morally objectionable. Furthermore, as I continued to watch, the more I was able to stomach and, ultimately, be desensitized by. I failed to realize that my parents’ protection was well-founded and necessary. In short, I was sacrificing my conscience on the altar of my pride.

As of the other day, I have smashed and deleted all the illegal music I own. I have decided to listen only and indefinitely to Christian and classical music. My bit-torrent program is erased and fire walled from my computer. I am also blocking the sites from which I streamed the movies. In accordance with all of this, I am resuming the habit of playing my Bible on audio before bed each night. My parents are also holding me more accountable for the time I spend on my laptop. Currently, I am writing up a letter to send to the record companies that I stole music from to inquire about reimbursement.

And now, I wish to extend an apology and a plea to everyone who knows me and who reads this. Please forgive me for the destructive influence I’ve been to you all. I have betrayed my core values and the trust I had established with my friends and family. I understand the ramifications of my actions and I’m willing to accept any consequences that may follow these confessions. But please also bear me up in prayer for my restoration. If any of you read, hear, or otherwise observe behavior, speech, or lifestyles in me that are not glorifying to God, hold me accountable for it. Inform me about it if I do not seem to notice it myself. If I have done something publicly, then reprove me publicly. I would also invite anyone to call my parents if they see anything un-Godly in me.

~Curtis~