About Me

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Father, husband and currently in-between jobs. Just relocated to Michigan from Nebraska and am on the hunt for work! These are my musings about life so far and what I've done.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007


I just drank the best water in the world. Lincoln water is the best ever. Not Blair water. Not Topeka water. Not even Minneapolis water. There's just something about water from the city you grew up in that is so magical. It's like seeing an old park you played at as a child, or a neighborhood you grew up in. This water is your childhood. As soon as you drink it, you just automatically recognize it.

I think the most magical thing in the world, is taking a bottle of home water with you on a trip. I don't know about you, but the fun was over as soon as my bottle was empty. It was my connection to home. Maybe it's a security blanket issue, (thank you, Peanuts) or maybe it's nostalgia, or even identification. This was the water I grew up with, played in and was nourished by. (well, not this very water, but water from the same source) I honestly don't know how I could deal with someone who didn't like water. We'd probably become bitter foes and wind up having it out with swords on a tall structure. In slow motion. Always in slow motion. And very dramatically.

You see, water from home never changes. I draw most of my security in life from this. You'll never wake one day to find out that the water-treatment plant had flavored it with strawberry or sassafras or pumpernickel. The world is a better place when you've had a glass of home water. You want to know why some kids grew up to be derelicts and evil people? Their mums didn't give them enough water to drink. Yup. It's not exactly clinically proven, but I'm pretty sure they'd at least be better citizens if they'd drank more water as they were growing up.

Water is just insanely fantastic. What do you think the phrase "the glass is half-full" was talking about? I can tell you what it wasn't talking about. It wasn't talking about a glass of scotch, or milk, or Sunny D. Oh no. It was talking about the all-natural goodness that is water. You also know what? In the end, it really doesn't matter whether the glass is half-full or half-empty. What matters, is who's going to drink the water that's left! And that "who" should be you.

People can have their coffee. That's fine. I like coffee. But there'd be no coffee in the mug if there weren't thousands of little water molecules running their little droplets off through the percolator. Just think about it. Every time you walk outside, you're walking over humongous underground ducts that pipe unfathomable amounts of water to thousands of people, bringing joy and happiness to their other-wise mundane lives! Want to stimulate the economy? Ask your local grocer for water! Water makes people happy. And everybody knows that happy people are productive people and economically-stimulating people! Are you a proud US citizen? Drink water! Are you an under-privileged, third class US citizen? Drink water! Are you a 70s draft-dodger and former president of the US? Drink water! All the world's most successful CEOs drank water!

*turns head to the side and dramatically takes a swig of water*


Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Your Show

I just saw an amazing movie. It is called The Truman Show. (1998) The star of the movie, Truman Burbank (played by Jim Carrey) discovers one day that his life is a reality tv show. Through a series of singular events, Burbank becomes curious about his world. He attempts to escape from the city that his adopted author created. In the end, Burbank faces the option of either staying in the perfect world where he is nurtured and cared for by the author, or leaving and discovering the real world. Possibilities and new expectations remain in the air as the director of the movie (Peter Weir) cuts the film just as Truman Burbank walks out of the controlled universe created for him.

Now I'm definitely not a fan of science fiction. The closest movie I ever got to liking in that genre was The Matrix. Nonetheless, I always love good story lines that take slightly different spins on what we consider to be the ordinary. After watching the movie, I was simply taken back. There is so much that is woven into the plot. The Truman Show pulled several strings in my heart and opened several doors of inquiry in my mind.

There is a quote from the movie that remains with me. When the author of the show is being interviewed he says, "We accept the reality of the world with which we're presented." This is an interesting concept. To a certain degree, we take the world around us at face value. Geographically, we know that life can be completely different on the other side of the world, or on a seperate continent. Spiritually, we have an abiding premonition that there's something more to this life. Ecclesiastes 3.11 tells us that God has placed eternity in our minds, so that we would seek after it, but never understand it entirely.

Another thought that strikes me is how unique people are. Do you ever considered how much of an irony it is for an actor to play the starring role in a biography? The only person who can ever do as much with the circumstances, background and characteristics that you have... is you. No one else can play your life. But we also need to remember that our lives were given to us by God. The world will always tell us that we are who we choose to be; however, this is not true. King Solomon tells us, "The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps." (Proverbs 16.9) Our task is set before us and the wise man will follow after God. No one will be walking off this set without scripting from God.

I will leave you all with a few questions. Does God exist to relate to us? Do we exist to relate to each other, or do we exist to relate to God? While Truman Burbank leaves a world of facades for a real world, he also leaves a relationship with the author for a relationship with other people. Given, the author in The Truman Show was by no means an accurate portrayal of our Heavenly Father.

This is your show and everybody's watching. How are you going to relate to your Author?


Saturday, October 20, 2007

A Whiter Shade of Pale

Yo. Welcome to another fun, pointless blog. :) I'm going to try to incorporate some different things in my post. This is going to be another "what's on Curtis' mind tonight?" *grins* Welcome to a brave new world.

Maybe I'll pretend to be Norwegian and start all my paragraphs with "so then," lol. Oh, and I'll make dreadfully uninteresting declarative sentences. You know the kind. The ones that people make when they really don't want to be talking to you at all. You both stare at your drinks and glance awkwardly in different directions, as if you'd prefer stepping out in front of a runaway semi just about now.

"So then... you work in accounting?"

It never really is a question. And then, it isn't an observation of life, either. It's more like an acknowledgment, like nodding to a stranger as you pass him on the street. Something has to be said because something has to fill in the silence. Goodness, anything but the dreadful silence.


Wow. As if that solitary statement doesn't do more to kill the conversation than saying something stupid. I mean, even if you slapped the man across the face or dumped your drink over his wife's head, at least that would launch into an inquiry. Of course, it wouldn't be the socially recommended thing to do if you were aiming to begin a meaningful friendship. There are more awkward glances. Simultaneously, you clear your throats as if you're both visualizing the same semi, gunning down the freeway, with you, gleefully standing on the curb, ready to meet your Maker.

"How many years have you been there?"

The other man jerks his head back around to the conversation. He was just thinking about running over to the punch bowl and submerging his head until he expired.


A look of disappointment spreads across his features. You repeat your question.

"How many years have you been working in accounting?"

"Oh, about 20 years now."

If you really want to gamble, ask a man about his job. Your results in opening such a field of discussion will be quite varied. If he loves his job, then you have hit the jackpot and a life-long friendship is practically secured. If he hates his job, then you will get a cold reply with a reproachful look at bringing up such a painful subject at a social function. At this point, you will need to use one of those emergency conversation respirators such as the weather or politics if you want to salvage the situation. If he is simply indifferent about his job then you are lost. You might as well say something stupid and leave the room immediately.

"Ah. How do you like your job?"

These are dangerous and uncharted waters now. It will be either sink or swim from here on. The man has been working there for 20 years, so he clearly ought to have a firmly-developed opinion about his place of employment. There will be no indifference about the matter. If he hates his job, then you will be faced with quite a daunting task. The very survival of the relationship now hangs in the balance.

"The pay is horrible. People need to learn how to appreciate a good employee when they have one."

This is the moment when the hero of the narrative looks to the east. Time slows down and for some reason, nothing can touch him as the resolution to the conflict comes riding over the next hill on a white steed. A brilliant, almost blinding light shines from beyond the hill. Your friend has returned from the bathroom. Your salvation has come.

"Well. It looks like we're ready to take off! It was nice meeting you."

Here, we have another irony. Even if both parties have internally agreed that the conversation has been a complete waste of time and brain cells, you still carry out the conventionalities. It's like giving a cigarette to a condemned man. Another prime example of these conventionalities is, "Stop by anytime you're in the neighborhood!" Of course they don't honestly expect you to stop by anytime you're in the neighborhood. In most cases, they're hoping that you don't even make it as far as the neighborhood. Or there's another classic, "I was in the area, so I thought I'd drop in!" They probably drove all the way across town to be a bug on your doormat, a grub in your garden, a proverbial fly in your proverbial greenhouse of life. In reality, they are trying to cover up their social blunder with guises of politeness.

So then. That's all I have for y'all tonight! I'll be blogging again soon! Ttyls!

Thursday, October 18, 2007


Ok y'alls. I've decided to pull that post I had up about the radio station. My mom and I agreed that if someone who didn't know me as well read it that they might get some wrong ideas about me, lol.
The world just wasn't ready for that one, in general. I think the humor was a little too dark anyway. Hopefully I'll be getting another post out with some good solid humor in it to make up for that one.


Tty'alls latah!

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

This is Grace

I'm listening to Dido right now. The front porch is a good place for contemplating life. This last week has been a little hard for me. Ok, it's been very hard for me. I've been gone from home everyday this week. Life never slows down; have you ever noticed that? At first, it seems to crawl, but really, it's just plodding along at its own pace. Then more things happen, schedules fill up and things occasionally go wrong. You're lost in a rush of deadlines and conflicts. But you never stay hopelessly submerged.

This is Grace.

Life is like the small, unstable line on a heartbeat monitor. Each spasmodic jump records another valley and mountain of life. If we didn't have those mountains and valleys, we wouldn't exist. Not that they sustain life, but they are simply a natural part of it. No one's life is completely downhill nor is it completely uphill.

This is Grace.

Time plods on and you start another descent, somehow never dropping as far as you could. Just when you think that you'll never stop, you lightly touch the bottom of your valley. It's almost imperceptible, like landing softly in a stack of hay, or drifting gently until your feet grasp the sandy bottom of a lake, sending a miniature cloud of sand and dirt swirling into the clear depths. And, like a diver, you look up again towards where the refraction of light plays around the surface of the water, soft and luminous.

This is Grace.

You gaze fixedly up. Your breath has left you and darkness begins to wrap around the corners of your vision. A strong updraft begins to rise, inexplicably. Instinctively, you squint; the warm water caresses your face as you shoot up through the murkiness. The light grows more distinct and the darkness drops quickly below you. All you can do is look up. Finally, you break the surface. Thousands of crystal-clear droplets splinter into the air. Oxygen rushes into your lungs and the sensation tingles through your whole being. You're free.

This is Grace.

Thank you, Lord.


Friday, October 12, 2007

I like BBQing

It's time for another blog. So here I am, sitting in front of Jeeves, waiting for the Spirit to move me. *sigh* I don't like being pressured to do anything. It's like sitting down and being told to write a 10 chapter piece of historical fiction at gun-point. It just doesn't work. Oh wells. I'm sure I'll move past it.

I've been attacked by praying mantises. A few days ago, one fell off the ceiling of my little porch right next to me. It scared the Sam Hill outta me! And then today, I looked to the right of Jeeve's screen to discover one crawling up my leg. This time it only scared the Emily Dickinson outta me. I calmly flicked him off into the grass and then quietly screamed into my sleeve. Now, I guess I don't mind them that much, but I'd really prefer that they find somewhere else to do their praying.

I bought the biggest, fuzziest slippers the other day. I just walked into Wal-mart and there they were. Well, maybe not quite like that. I was looking at external dvd drives and ingredients for homeade bombs when for some reason, I wandered over to the shoe department. I was just about to head back to electronics when a couple furry creatures caught my eye. They were made to look like the severed heads of two bull dogs. To put them on, you had to stick your feet in their mouths. Strangely enough, this appealed to me. So now I am the proud owner of Alex and Samantha. (Alex is the left foot swallower and Samantha is the right foot swallower) It's great! I still get worried looks from my mom each time I walk through the house.

Wow. I am literally falling asleep as I write this. I've been getting more and more tired at night. This disturbs me. I'm a teenager. What happened to my epic ability to stay up all night and party? I even chugged down a little Mountain Dew goodness before heading to my underground lair. Maybe it's for the best anyway. I have a ton of things that I have to get done before tomorrow... er... today is over. *grins*

And I still haven't convinced my mom to let me wear my pajamas to school yet. I'm disappointed. I don't know how many times I've bugged her about letting me take Alex and Sam to class already. I look fairly respectable in my 'jammies, lol. Me: "It's not like I'd be breaking any dress codes..." Dad: "No, but you would be, soon after." Wearing 'jammies is all the rage in China. The Chinese get away with it all the time. It's pretty fascinating.

Welp, I'm gone like a snowman in July. Until next time, bieeee!

Monday, October 8, 2007

May I be honest with you?

I was reading the "Define Me" blurb on my Facebook today. It was interesting to read what words people used to describe me:

addict (thank you, Vieve), adorable (?, lol), beautiful spirit, chill, easy-going, encouraging, fun, genuine, godly, honest, humorous, inspiring, optimistic, passionate, talkative (don't know why they came up with that one), trustworthy and upright.

So I know that most of these were light-hearted. But "genuine?", "godly?", "honest?" and "upright?" It got me thinking. This is how people see me, even though I fall down in these very areas every day of my life. Maybe I'm just being my hardest critic? And then I read 1 Corinthians 4:3, 4; "But with me it is a very small thing that I should be judged by you or by any human court. In fact, I do not even judge myself. I am not aware of anything against myself, but I am not thereby acquitted. It is the Lord who judges me." I wish so much that I could measure up to that. There's days when I've lost more ground than I gained and I intentionally let myself slide. As I was reading that 1 Corinthians passage, I just thought about what that would mean, to live as to have nothing on the proverbial rap sheet.

I don't want to just have a clean conscience, though. Romans 1:8; "First, I thank my God through Jesus Christ for all of you, because your faith is proclaimed in all the world." Can you imagine what it would be like to have a faith that is proclaimed of in all the world?? A person like that could easily change the world! I wish so much that I could be upright, Godly and a man of faith. I guess I just want to tell everybody that I'm not. I struggle with being a witness to people in person. I abuse the Grace of the Cross. I'm not honest with my parents at home. I have ulterior motives for otherwise, self-less looking things I do and say. I get so sick of it!

I used to think it was so curious when one of my friends signed their blog with "Your Fellow Sinner." I think as Christians, we are so willing to identify with the justification we've received and not willing enough to identify with the depths we came from and still return to. If you look at the Patriarchs of the Old Testament, you'll see something more than just great men of faith. You'll see humans, people who tried to do it their way. People who screwed up all the time. But you'll also see people who fell down on their faces before the presence of God and men who cried, "I am not worthy!" or "I am a dead man!" I think we need to return to that place. This is the place where we were when we came to the foot of the Cross and cried, "I am a sinner! I can't do this on my own, so I need YOU to save me!" True faith is taking God at His word and acting upon it. True repentance is not only turning away from sin, but turning to God to completely take over everything. True humility is always remembering the Cross, where we fell, where He picked us up and who He is. It's true, we are saved by Grace. We are justified by the blood of Christ. But we are all also just sinners saved by Grace.

Your Fellow Sinner, Saved By Grace,

Saturday, October 6, 2007

Just Testing

So I took my SAT yesterday morning. It wasn't the first time I'd taken it, so I was vaguely familiar with the procedure.

"You may now turn your test booklet over and write your name, address, social security number and all existing credit card account information in the blanks provided."

It was comparatively easy to the previous time. I pretty much had the drill down.

"Please place all pencils, calculators and brains on the desk in front of you. Do not put your brains in until you are told to do so. Any extra brain batteries must be approved. If you put your brains in before permitted, your test will automatically be disqualified and you will be shot down by a sniper from the opposite building and your body will be dumped in the nearest convenient landfill."

I was in the zone. I heard a voice droning on somewhere around me about rules and regulations, but I didn't pay attention to that. It was just a bunch of bureaucratic red tape anyway.

"Please be sure that all automatic weaponry is set to "safe" and placed under your desk. Do not attempt to take any test material out of the room. The "swapping" of brains will not be tolerated. Your family will be hunted down and held for ransom on E-bay."

The instructor was fairly nice. He was one of those types who would make a pun if the occasion arose, or even say something funny.

"You will have as many minutes as it takes me to finish knitting this sweater for my new little niece. Turn to page one in your test booklet and good luck with the rest of your life... "

If you don't want an average public high schooler to understand what you write, use cursive. It's like a foreign language to them. The only kids who honed any real cursive skills were the math geeks. You know the ones: long, greasy hair, black Led Zeppelin tee-shirt, bleach-white skin from staying inside all day long playing online role-playing games and bad eyesight from staring at the screen of his scientific calculator and computer screen into the early hours of the morning.

So that was pretty much my day at the test center. It was fun.



Thursday, October 4, 2007

creatively, no subject

So it's time to break out Jeeves for another blog. I haven't written anything humorous for a while, so here it goes. It will probably be very random, because I don't have a specific subject in mind. Maybe I'll just write down my stream of consciousness.

State of mind: definitely happy. Maybe even a little bit "giddy." :-)
Reason: I just went out for coffee with some awesome people, one of whom I haven't hung out with in a while.
Damper: I got home on time, (for once in a long time, lol) but didn't come in for 10 minutes because I was listening to music in Nate's car outside. So my parents were a little irked at me and Dad threatened to charge me $1 a minute for being late in coming in. So that wasn't very cool. I'm gonna have to start doing something about that. Like maybe becoming super punctual just to win some confidence. *shrugs*
Thought now: I wonder if I'll get sleepy anytime soon. I used to be on a 5 am schedule, but that's pretty much gone out the window, lol. Maybe I should get back to it...

So I went on a comment rampage on Facebook the other day! It was freakin-amazzing! And yes, I just spelled that with two "z"s. I think there should be more words with "z"s in them. Those poor little letters of the alphabet barely get any of the spotlight. The "e"s pretty much get the glory. "How do you crack a code? Just remember that "e" is the most used letter of the alphabet!" Pfft. I say, "Use more "z"s!" and, "Support your local foundation for lost, misplaced and otherwise underprivileged "z"s!"...

I wonder if a granola bar at midnight would taste any different than a granola bar at noon. I mean, what if you did a scientific investigation into the puzzzlement and the granola bar they tested with at midnight had some manufacturers defect in it. And so when some clinic from somewhere in China publishes a scientific journal, everybody goes crazzy. Stores around the world would run out of granola bars before midnight and the people who really needed their post-midnight snack like me would be up-river, without a paddle! *gasp*...

I want to go tubing. The last time I went tubing, waaaas-- way too long ago. :-) I should call up my uncle and ask him what the dealio is and why he hasn't taken me tubing again. It was fun! I was such a cute little tyke back then. I remember riding on the tube behind the motorboat (it was the first time I'd been on a motorboat, too) and I was waving to the people on board. I don't know if they said I was brave afterward just because I was a cute little tyke and somehow they wouldn't have expected such an act of heroism out of me, or because I was simply a cute little tyke. Maybe I'll just go with both. *grins*...

So I realized that I use the word "actually" quite a lot the other day. Isn't it funny how you realizze something habitual that you've not really noticed before? It's like chewing on your nails when you're nervous, or unconsciously holding up at gun point the teller at the bank at you're depositing money at. Man, I do that so much, it's not even funny anymore. It's so embarrassing, too, "Ohh, I'm so sorry, it's just a compulsive disorder I picked up from some leftover Chinese sesame chicken that was fattened artificially by dangerous hormones. You can put the money back into the walk-in safe--oh, and don't forget to let Frank out." Talk about awkward. Most people just don't understand it when you start mugging them in a dark alley that it's just because you've got some psychological issues you need to iron out of your genes. I mean, how can you help it if your great-great-great grandaddy of all grandaddys was a compulsive nut-case? Destiny will make slaves of us all, I say. *sighs*

I should go to bed. My mom might need me to drive her to an 8:30am doctors appointment today. *man, life is hard, isn't it?*

Talk to y'alls later!