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Father, husband and currently in-between jobs. Just relocated to Michigan from Nebraska and am on the hunt for work! These are my musings about life so far and what I've done.

Monday, October 8, 2007

May I be honest with you?

I was reading the "Define Me" blurb on my Facebook today. It was interesting to read what words people used to describe me:

addict (thank you, Vieve), adorable (?, lol), beautiful spirit, chill, easy-going, encouraging, fun, genuine, godly, honest, humorous, inspiring, optimistic, passionate, talkative (don't know why they came up with that one), trustworthy and upright.

So I know that most of these were light-hearted. But "genuine?", "godly?", "honest?" and "upright?" It got me thinking. This is how people see me, even though I fall down in these very areas every day of my life. Maybe I'm just being my hardest critic? And then I read 1 Corinthians 4:3, 4; "But with me it is a very small thing that I should be judged by you or by any human court. In fact, I do not even judge myself. I am not aware of anything against myself, but I am not thereby acquitted. It is the Lord who judges me." I wish so much that I could measure up to that. There's days when I've lost more ground than I gained and I intentionally let myself slide. As I was reading that 1 Corinthians passage, I just thought about what that would mean, to live as to have nothing on the proverbial rap sheet.

I don't want to just have a clean conscience, though. Romans 1:8; "First, I thank my God through Jesus Christ for all of you, because your faith is proclaimed in all the world." Can you imagine what it would be like to have a faith that is proclaimed of in all the world?? A person like that could easily change the world! I wish so much that I could be upright, Godly and a man of faith. I guess I just want to tell everybody that I'm not. I struggle with being a witness to people in person. I abuse the Grace of the Cross. I'm not honest with my parents at home. I have ulterior motives for otherwise, self-less looking things I do and say. I get so sick of it!

I used to think it was so curious when one of my friends signed their blog with "Your Fellow Sinner." I think as Christians, we are so willing to identify with the justification we've received and not willing enough to identify with the depths we came from and still return to. If you look at the Patriarchs of the Old Testament, you'll see something more than just great men of faith. You'll see humans, people who tried to do it their way. People who screwed up all the time. But you'll also see people who fell down on their faces before the presence of God and men who cried, "I am not worthy!" or "I am a dead man!" I think we need to return to that place. This is the place where we were when we came to the foot of the Cross and cried, "I am a sinner! I can't do this on my own, so I need YOU to save me!" True faith is taking God at His word and acting upon it. True repentance is not only turning away from sin, but turning to God to completely take over everything. True humility is always remembering the Cross, where we fell, where He picked us up and who He is. It's true, we are saved by Grace. We are justified by the blood of Christ. But we are all also just sinners saved by Grace.

Your Fellow Sinner, Saved By Grace,
~Curtis~

14 comments:

Jessica said...

Hey Thanks Curtis glad I could be an inspiration lol.
But seriously that is what makes are faith in God the most wonderful thing ever because WE DO NOT DESERVE IT!! It is so true without him we would all still sin and there would be no redemtion. But I think sometimes we forget that even when we are with him we still sin. For instance, today I went to an old friends house for a party. I knew my parents were coming at 8 but I pushed it and pushed it and finally when they showed up at 8:15 and I was still in the middle of watching a movie (Bridge to Terabithia) They were mad. I knew better, but I sinned. I am a sinner, its true. If I was perfect I would not need god. That is what it comes down to. If we could save our selves there would be no need for a saviour. We are not worthy but he does not care.
So my fellow sinner, that is life. we win some and lose some but when it comes right down to the end of the day win or lose Jesus is still there.
Now that I have blogged in the comment space I should go lol. Keep strong dear man of faith because it is in the times of sin that are faith is tested, and where it gets stronger.
Your sister in Christ,
Jessica

Curtis said...

This is true. Thanks for your thoughts! And don't worry about being a blommentor. I do it all the time. But yea, I have trouble with keeping as punctual as I should be.

Hmm... I think I like that word. Blommentor. Has a nice ring to it.

Come to think of it, my whole schedule is out of whack recently. I've lapsed into doing schoolwork at night, so I don't get up early for prayer time like I used to. I miss that. Now I only catch a few minutes to pray before I start my day. Maybe that's why my days aren't as God-centered as I need them to be. I'm still reading my Bible every morning, though.

Jessica said...

Blommentor! Nice, that can go with my nougatocity lol.

Weird we are, why is it we keep posting on the same things lol? people are going to think that we plan it or something! Man they will take a look at one board and not bother with the other lol.

Anyway yeah schedules are crazy, I am all out of wack, in fact I thought today was thursday and that tommorow was my day off lol. But no such luck, still have to wake up early tommorow1
So Good night Curtis!
Your sister In Christ,
Jessica

Curtis said...

Yea, I hate it when that happens. Especially when it comes to days close to the weekend. My internal calendar is all messed up. Blah. I never have been able to keep track of time very well. I guess that's why I'm so good at procrastinating, lol.

Heh, here I am blommenting on my own blog. How sad. Oh wells, I'm tired and I don't care anyways. *yawns* I just want to close my eyes and sleep... I'm so tired. I can't even think to write a good, funny blog. I'm sure I'll wake up tomorrow and freak out at all my sentence fragments and run-ons. Well the purist grammarians can go and drown in some alphabet soup or something, lol.

Biee...

Jessica said...

do not even get me started about procrastinating. I am about a day behind on all my classes, and it is finals week!!
Grammar? ahh who cares lol. I never use correct grammar, its no fun heehee.
Anyway, hope you slept well friend!
Jessica

Curtis said...

I'll say you don't. *wink* Sometimes you almost give me a coronary with that atrocious spelling of yours. Some pretty massacred blomments almost bring tears to my eyes just because of the grammar alone. *grins*

And I don't have to get you started on procrastination, lol. You've been well on your way for quite some time even before I showed up.

Jessica said...

Hey! That was just plain rude man geesh.
Actually though I am really good on spelling and grammar when I am not online. I just get bored with it online, but I am sorry it hurts ur eyes geesh! LOL
No way I never procrastinated till I met you heehee I swear ;)
Where have you been all day man, sleeping? who does that?
Your sis,
Jessica

Curtis said...

I do, apparently. Thank you very much. *grins facetiously* Naw, actually I've been doing school work. Like tons and tons of school work. Blah. I can hardly wait 'til I graduate. I know you've graduated, so you don't have to rub that in, lol.

I got donuts today! About 50 of 'em! Woot. What's even better, is they were free. And I picked up a few bottles of pop for an outing tomorrow afternoon. Oh yea!

Jessica said...

Hey Curtis,
Question.. Have you ever heard of sharazode? I am sure I spelled that wrong, but my little sister was learning about it and it sounded like year thousand and one nights arabian tale. Is Sharazode in it?
Thanks,
Jessica

Jessica said...

Ha I love it I am not the only one with grammar errors.
jk but had to grab the oppurtunity
I would NEVER rub it in *rub* lol
Can I ask why 50 donuts?! even if they were free.

Curtis said...

Hmm... sharazode, sharazode... doesn't ring a bell. And I just lent my One Thousand and One Arabian Nights book to Jo, so I couldn't even look it up for ya.

Well, I thought I could take the donuts to my outing tomorrow and become an instant hit at the party. *grins* Not that I'm not already the life of the party wherever I go... *rolls eyes* But yea. One of my friends from San Antonio is comin' up for five days. *woot* I'm excited.

Jessica said...

It is actually spelled Scheherazade and i spelled it wrong. I looked it up on wikipedia and it is supposed to be the queen who is telling the stories so the king doesn't cut of her head, ring any bells?
Thats cool! Have way too much fun with your friend k!
Your sister,
Jessica

Curtis said...

Ooooh yeaaa! I remember now. She was an awesome gal. I'm going to have to meet her some day...

Jessica said...

LOL the funny think is that you actually could. My sisters teacher dresses up like her and tells the kids stories, like aladdin. It is kind of weird and that is why I was askiing. But i should tell you, Scheherazade is not real. Sorry to burst your bubble there lol.
Jessica